Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 15 USERS: A
Things To Do In London When You're Bored

The Doctor is still an Auton hostage, and still yelling at Rose to leg it. Rose is still at a loss. The building starts to collapse around them, the ceiling comes in, the stairs get messed up, the TARDIS is locked. Mickey continues to suck.

The mall is going nuts with screams and shooting dummies in all manner of sporting and casual apparel. Clive's little kid screams like a lady, but I wouldn't say anything, because he's been through a lot tonight. Jackie stands at the bottom of the escalator looking dumb, then apparently realizes that everybody is dying, and runs off, for some reason hurling her shopping onto the escalator, going up. Knowing her, she'll be back at the burned ruins tomorrow, like, "I don't have a gift receipt, but I returned them only minutes after purchase. I deserve store credit at the least."

Mickey and Rose hang out uselessly at the door of the TARDIS.

Jackie runs outside and finds herself in a scene from Escape From New York. No, L.A. All the dummies crowd outside and start killing people. She collapses outside a bridal shop, and three identical brides in blonde wigs with Uma Thurman bangs -- "fringes," I mean -- come through the window at her, and she screams. In my mind, two of the dummies are always really mean to the other one because she keeps insisting her name is "Sharon."

Rose watches the Doctor struggle to get his anti-plastic for a while, then finally gets her shit together, and stands up, and makes a resolved face. Mickey has apparently seen this face before, and tells her to just leave the Doctor to his death.

In the high street, the brides hold out their creepy arms and point them at poor Jackie.

Rose picks up an axe as Mickey's yelling, "There's nothing you can do!" but it's too late: she's all Buffied up: "I've got no A Levels. No job. No future." No job, no rent to pay, no home, no worthwhile boyfriend, no mum. She's already said goodbye and she didn't even know it. Might as well try "superhero." Jackie cowers as the brides advance. Rose hacks at a chain on the wall with her axe. "But I tell you what I have got: Jericho Street Junior School under-sevens gymnastic team. I got the bronze!" The chain comes loose and Rose swings across the gap on it, over the Consciousness. She kicks the Autons, one then the other, into the Consciousness, and the anti-plastic falls into it and spills out. The NC starts to writhe and scream as Rose touches down, safe in the Doctor's arms. "Now we're in trouble," he quips, as the Consciousness gets all rumbly and explody-looking.

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Doctor Who




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