Doctor Who
Rose

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 15 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Things To Do In London When You're Bored

The music gets depressing again and we get a million cuts of Rose back at work, bored, no A-levels, no future; London continues to be very exciting outside as the day passes -- this crazy-paced, "show you all of it so we can just get on with it" thing is so, so British, I love it -- and finally, Rose is just about to leave with some other girls when a security guard stops her. He hands her a package with a sturdy "Oi!" Rose is bummed and takes it downstairs on an elevator, which for some reason we look at from several angles on the outside while she makes bored faces inside. Her bored faces are like yours, only supernaturally beautiful. Once she meets the Doctor, the title for Prettiest Thing goes into sharp contention, so enjoy it while you can.

Down in the basement, Rose goes looking for "Wilson," because she needs to give him the lottery money from the security guard. Apparently this is something that is common in the UK -- and maybe here, too, for all I know -- where everybody in a group puts their money together to pool their chances ["it definitely happened at the last office I worked in" -- Wing Chun], and so Wilson is going to be the one to actually buy the batch of tickets. It's the kind of thing that doesn't glitch you out when you're watching, but I overthought when it was time to write, and I decided it was very, very confusing. Which of course it really isn't. Even Jackie Tyler understands it, Jacob. Clearly the problem is yours.

Rose knocks on a door that reads "H.P. Wilson C.E.O.," which is funny because we don't normally see "C.E.O." offices in the basement, but the gigantic electric warning sign below it would seem to suggest that "C.E.O." means something different here. He's the Chief Electrician. Rose knocks on the door and, getting no answer, starts to get really irritated. There's a noise further down the corridor, and she calls out, thinking it's Wilson. There are creepy swooshing sounds and almost-words on the soundtrack. Rose walks into a room full of shop dummies, most of them half-dressed at best, and continues to look for Wilson. This would be your first mistake. If I encounter a creepy room full of mannequins and it's after about 3 in the afternoon, I'm gonna bounce. I don't need that shit in my life. The credits of Nip/Tuck are enough to weird me out, at this point. Rose turns on the lights and gets deeper in, and the fire door slams closed behind her. She runs back and shakes the door. In the shadows, there is the sound of Jawas. She comes back down into the room, looking for the culprits, and asks if there's someone in there "muckin' about." There's a creaking behind her, and a dummy slowly moves its head. She turns around just in time to see a dummy in slacks and an open shirt step out and move toward her, walking robotically. It's mega-creepy. Worried and a little nervous, Rose fake-laughs, but two more dummies step out behind the first. "Right, I've got the joke!" says Rose. "Whose idea was this? Was it Derek's?" I would like to meet this Derek. He seems to be creatively awful, and I can respect that. More and more of the male dummies step out, alive, walking stiffly toward Rose. The female ones just stand there, glamorously bald. Backing up, Rose trips, and ends up against a wall. One dummy lifts its arm to strike her, and she screws up her face to get ready. I'd be angry, because Rose already hates the job, and thus the mannequins, you know? How unfair.

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