Doctor Who
Rose

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 15 USERS: A
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Rose feels a hand on hers, and she snaps her eyes open and sees a goofy man. "Run," he tells her. He jerks her sideways, and the dummy's hand hits a pipe, releasing steam. Rose and the guy run, and the dummies, in their various half-suits of clothes, stumble after. Some of the extras are more intense and into this than others, and their walking is quite varied. A dummy behind a grate woggles its arms at Rose and her companion through the bars as they pass, ridiculously but also scarily. The Doctor pulls Rose into an elevator, and the doors close on one of the dummies' arms. The Doctor pulls once, twice, several times, and it finally comes off in his hands, and the doors close. Rose is shocked, somehow, by the arm-pulling-off. The Doctor tosses it to her with a grin, pointing out that it's just plastic. She's still not convinced about all this: "Nice trick! Who were they then, students?" The Doctor cocks his head at her and asks why that would be, and she responds using Occam's Razor: "To get that many people dressed up and being silly, they've gotta be students." Or, you know, Groundlings. To watch movies and TV, there's not actually a difference between Groundlings and British students anyway. Have you seen Hex? Even the dead students are wisenheimers. If I can get through that show with my adoration intact, I can handle anything this show throws at me. The Doctor grins and congratulates Rose on her logic skills, but she's wrong. Rose: "Whoever they are, when Wilson finds them, he's gonna call the police." But Wilson's dead. Poor Wilson. Rose fails to see the humor in the joke, if electricians die as a result. The Doctor moves her out of the way and sonic screwdrivers the lift so the guys can't follow.

Rose indicates that she would like to get off the ride, so the Doctor wanders away, but she starts with the questions and follows: "Who are you, then? Who's that lot down there?" He explains that they are "living plastic creatures," like the Black Eyed Peas, who are being "controlled by a relay device," also like the Black Eyed Peas. The Doctor holds up some kind of gadget and explains that the relay system on the roof is no match for it. He opens a fire door for Rose, and explains that he's going upstairs to blow the mannequins up, and that he "might well die in the process," but that -- given that Rose has been bitching the entire fucking time -- she should go on home and have some "lovely beans on toast." Which is gross, but if I start bitching about British food I'll never stop, and there's no food grosser than Arby's in this world, so it would be rather provincial of me to even start. "Don't tell anyone about this, because if you do, you'll get them killed," says the Doctor, and shuts the door. I don't know why that's necessarily true, but helps in the paranoia case Rose and Clive will be building later, and I have to agree that hands-off is probably the best policy when it comes to creepy killer mannequins. As long as there's no Meshach Taylor to come mincing in, I think we'll be okay. Rose looks at the door where the Doctor just vanished, bemused, and he opens it again: "I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name?" She tells him, and in his best and sexiest swashbuckling tone, he says, "Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life!" He slams the door.

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Doctor Who

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