Doctor Who
Rose

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 15 USERS: A
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Things To Do In London When You're Bored

The thing here is twofold, the first being that the whole episode is kind of about how Rose's life is pretty nice -- nice mum, cute boyfriend -- but not so nice that she wouldn't drop it all and run off with the Doctor eventually. The appeal of the show when I was a kid was just that: "Hey, would you like to just fuck off and time-travel and have fun adventures? Isn't that better than exams?" It's not some kind of Anne McCaffrey deal -- or wait, who was the magical horsies lady? Mercedes something? It's been a long time -- where the whole world is crushing in and you must be rescued from your terrible fate; just more that living in the projects and having a stupid mall job is kind of boring, and doesn't involve living up to your potential or really using your gymnastics skills to any great effect. The second thing about Mickey is that he doesn't actually suck the whole time, but between being a thing you wouldn't feel too bad about leaving behind, and his character not yet having an arc, he's just kind of boring and irritating here. But he gets to be pretty cool, and the ways he negotiates Rose's changing circumstances make him pretty interesting and likable. However, in this episode? SHUT UP, MICKEY.

So anyway, Mickey's all over Rose with the OMG, and she just wants to forget that the whole thing happened, because it was scary and a mite ridiculous, and now she's out a job, which is depressing, and she's sick of explaining what happened. Especially considering that she doesn't know what happened exactly, because it was clearly not what actually happened, and because when the real-world interesting part -- the explosion -- happened, she was standing on the corner looking all goggly.

Jackie now has "Debbie" on the line, a friend who knows somebody from the Mirror who will give her five hundred pounds for an interview. Since she can't give an interview about living plastic and the Doctor, and because she's already sick to death of talking about it, because Jackie's tough to take -- imagine what it was like the first time Rose liked a boy, or got her period, or whatever -- Rose smiles brightly and begs her mum for the phone, and then promptly hangs it up. It's hilarious. Jackie natters on about how Rose's job is "kaput" and she's "not bailing [Rose] out," which is kind of harsh. I guess that's more of that British interfamily rudeness I've been hearing so much about. It's quite alien, speaking as an American, when you see people who don't call their parents "Sir" or "Ma'am," or stand and curtsy and/or bow whenever they enter a room, like we do here in the States. Also, after a certain age they call their teachers by their first names, instead of the more American Magister. It's a world gone fucking mad. It's anarchy, in the UK family. I've seen At Home With The Braithwaites and I know where that leads: lesbianism and getting off with total hotties. (And it occurs to me for the first time that apparently the Lottery is all they think about in Britain because their TV is: 90% National Lottery, 9% Bollinger, 1% hermaphrodite footballers' babies.) Somebody else calls immediately, and irritating Jackie answers the phone before the other person starts talking: "Beth! She's alive!" and wanders out again. Jackie goes on and on about how Rose has money coming to her, compensation for the nothing that actually happened. By the end of the series, I really like Jackie, but again: just say goodbye and get a move on already. There's living plastic to be dealt with.

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Doctor Who

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