Mickey stands in a classroom surrounded by dead lab rats: "Sorry! Sorry, it was only me. You told me to investigate, so I started looking through some of these cupboards, and...all of these fell out of them." Everybody's grossed out by the rats. "And you decided to scream," says the Doctor archly. Mickey's like, "Rats can be surprising!" "Like a little girl?" the Doctor asks, and Mickey is indignant: "It was dark! I was covered in rats!" I like cruelty to Mickey, at least up to this episode, but it's a compelling argument. "Nine, maybe ten years old," the Doctor adds. "I'm seeing pigtails, frilly skirt." (Ten's "the kind of man" who will drive a fucking joke into the ground, I can tell you that for free.) "Hello, can we focus?" snits Rose. "Does anyone notice anything strange about this? Rats in school?" Sarah Jane wonders why that's weird -- Biology lessons, dissection -- and asks if Rose has gotten to Biology in school. (If this were a real bitch fight, no way would she keep bringing up Rose's youth; that's one thing I'll say to keep the shippers calm. Next week I don't know what I'm going to do at all.) The Doctor and Mickey get very nervous. "Excuse me, no one dissects rats in school anymore," spits Rose. "They haven't done that for years. Where are you from, the Dark Ages?" ["Is that true? I did a fetal pig in Grade 11, and that was only 1990. Am I super-old?" -- Wing Chun] The Doctor's like, "Moving on...," but Sarah Jane is still with a full head of steam and really wants to say something cutting. She and Rose look at each other horribly. "Everything started when Mr. Finch arrived. We should go and check his office." The Doctor tosses a rat to Mickey, who drops it, and everybody follows the Doctor into the hall.
Rose asks Sarah Jane -- not to be rude -- who the hell she is. "Sarah Jane Smith. I used to travel with the Doctor." Rose, of course, points out that the Doctor's never mentioned her, and the Doctor nervously tries to cover, saying he must have mentioned her all the time, and Rose is like, "Let me think...thinking...nope. Never." Which of course irritates Sarah Jane, and she takes point. Rose hurries after to see how much she can bug Sarah Jane. Left behind, Mickey looks at the Doctor with a grin: "Ho ho! Mate! The missus and the ex. Welcome to every man's worst nightmare." Mickey, not to be rude, but: Why the fuck do you think you're in this episode (show, season), you half-wit? Every girl's worst, too.