Doctor Who
School Reunion

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
The Other End Of The Telescope

"Get her up, get her up!" yells the leader lady. The lunch lady covered in oil is steered into the kitchen office, screaming; the blinds are drawn against Rose's peering eyes. She hangs up, and Mickey sighs, flipping his phone closed. Rose dials 911 (999? Is that right?) just as the leader lady comes out, goggles down, leaning against the doorframe and staring Rose down. Rose explains that she's calling an ambulance, and the lunch lady says that there's no need: "She's quite all right." So Rose hangs up, to the tune of something bursting into flames; then things smashing, and then a billow of smoke comes out from the office. The dinner lady doesn't blink: "It's fine. She does that." You know, if I didn't get weird about adults messing with little kids, I'd really like Alien Lunch Lady. She heads back into the office; Rose woggles at her, and then checks out the barrel more closely. I'd say she's being intrepid, but it's also possible that this is because she loves french fries so much, and that's what it smells like. (Well, fries and lunch lady flambé. Which I've heard is quite a delicacy in Canada. ["Oh, sure. Throw in some beef gravy and you're halfway to poutine!" -- Wing Chun])

Creepy Mr. Wagner makes his way to the front of a computer class, where the children are all sitting at their terminals in readiness. "I'd like you all to put your headphones on now, please." They do -- and they follow this order so closely that it causes a continuity error in the fourth act -- and then Wagner gets poetic: "Now, children...The things you will see..." He keys a command, and the children raise their hands as one, typing unnaturally fast, faster than recappers, eyes locked on the screen. There's green Matrix code drizzling down the monitors; Wagner watches and smiles. Creepily. I think part of the problem is that his voice reminds me of the headmaster on Hex, who is wonderful, but this dude is just scary as hell, because this episode connects up all wrong to that and Buffy both, and it'll interrupt your American memories of being a small European child at a comprehensive school with a quickness and flappy bat monsters. And apparently the Matrix too, for the third episode running. I don't want to be European anymore. "The things you will see..." like the Pied Piper, like Peter Pan. Like the Doctor.

Finch descends a flight of stairs with yet another Roslin impersonator, a beautiful auburn-haired woman who looks about ten years younger than she is. Price of being Wendy. "My improvements aren't confined to the classroom," says Finch. "We've introduced a new policy: school dinners are absolutely free...but compulsory. Do try the chips." The woman thanks him graciously, and tells him that the transformation he's brought about is amazing -- though, she wonders, perhaps he's working the children a little bit too hard now and then. Finch cocks his head, but she keeps going: "But I think good results...they're more important than anything." Exactly. "You're a woman of vision, Miss Smith," says Finch. And oh, but she's subtle: "Oh, I can see everything, Mr. Finch. Quite clearly." I like her.

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