The Queen Lived
In the library of your life, your grandfather remembers: You were about six, and your mother said no holiday this year. And off you toddled, all on your own. Got on a bus to Strathclyde, they called the police and everything. Where's she gone, then? Where's that girl?
You had that one day, with him, and you swore you were going to change. You were going to do so much... And then you woke up the next morning, same old life. Like he was never there. Oh, you tried. You did try. You went to Egypt, barefoot and everything, but it's all bus trips and guidebooks and don't drink the water, and two weeks later, you're back at home. Nothing like being with him. You must've been mad, saying no like that. You knew it. You kept saying no. You're still saying it. I love you so much. But how mad must you be, to say no to every beautiful second?
Something dangerous had happened, hadn't it? He'd shown you that light in your grandfather's eye wasn't madness, but something better. Your grandfather was in love with the stars, and the day you got engaged you finally understood why. You went looking, all over. How do you find the Doctor? Look for trouble, and he'll turn up. You looked everywhere: UFO sightings, crop circles, sea monsters. And you found them all. He opened your eyes. All those amazing things out there, you believed them all. It was easier that way. You knew the Doctor would save you, from this life you'd trapped yourself in. You didn't put half that effort in, at HC Clements, did you? (Just the first man to pour you a coffee, and you jumped the train immediately. And then all that effort went into Lance.) He'd put a ring on your finger, hadn't he? For better or for worse. "I'm not drifting," you said. "I'm waiting." For the right sort of man. Again. For any kind of man, to take you away from all this. No turning left, no turning right. Just waiting. No punishment and no forgiveness. Just waiting.
You finally found him at Adipose Industries. You must have liked the idea of that place, no? If he hadn't lit a fire in you. All the reward with none of the effort: the fat just walks away. The easy way out. Exactly what you were looking for. You went looking for him. Which is to say, everyone that comes to Adipose is looking for the same thing. They wanted to lose weight measured in pounds and kilos; you wanted to lose weight measured in years, and loneliness, and sadness. They found a little pill, and you found your little Doctor-man. And oh, he was happy to see you. I wonder, were you wearing his ring?