Doctor Who
The Age Of Steel (2)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C- | 3 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Solving For Pi

Above. Mickey, watched by an approving Jake, taps his way into the network or whatever. The Cyberman behind them flexes its fingers and then steps toward them. Jake yells, and Mickey admits that he did think it was dead: "But he's still a steel robot." Jake raises his gun and Mickey puts his hand on Jake's gun: "Wait a minute. Hey, Cyberman, over here." And the Cyberman turns in response. "Come on, you brainless lump of metal," says Mickey, getting excited, and it stomps toward them, raising a fist to strike. But Mickey has lured it to the transmitter controls, and its fist breaks the panel, and both the robot and the transmitter controls are destroyed in blue electricity. And everywhere, enlightenment, as the EarPods flash, deactivated. The residents of London wake up and realize where they are, and they are horrified, and then they run and scream and act like idiots. Up in the sky, Mickey throws his arms around Jake -- gleefully, I mean -- and run out of the factory, knocking Cybermen down and out of the way. After seeing these orderly lines and things, and the scary metal Cybermen in charge, that is funny.

The Doctor, Rose, and Pete hear the screams clearly from Lumic's control room; the Cybermen are also curious. "That's my friends at work," says the Doctor. "Good boys!" He calls it a vote for free will and winks at Lumic, who's got it covered: "I have factories waiting on seven continents. If the EarPods have failed, then Cybermen will take humanity by force. London has fallen. So shall the world."

Above, Mickey taps into the security cameras of "Cyber Control" -- which is apparently where the Doctor and Rose are. Mickey's very happy that they're alive, but Jake could care less, because Lumic as a Cyberman is even more fucked up than regular Lumic. Who played David Tennant's father in a Harry Potter movie, and all, except in their only scenes together here, he's a giant robot in a wheelchair. Or I guess a regular chair, because that is a shitty factory indeed that turns out wheelchair-bound robots. Mickey turns on the sound, up above. "I will bring peace to the world!" Lumic says, gnawing on the set. "Everlasting peace, and unity, and uniformity." (And honestly, you can't really call a performance "hammy" when they have to say shit like this. You have to do something weird to distract people from the bullshit you're saying.) "And imagination? What about that? The one thing that led you here. Imagination -- you're killing it, dead!" See what I mean? Say that out loud, about killing "imagination" dead. There are things to like about this story, but that crap is not on the list. Lumic asks the Doctor's name, and makes a good point in response: "A redundant title. Doctors need not exist. Cybermen never sicken." The Doctor jumps toward him, fairly spitting, sad: "Yeah, but that's it! That's exactly the point! Lumic, you're a clever man -- I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room -- but everything you've invented, you did to fight your sickness. And that's brilliant. That is so human. But once you get rid of sickness and mortality, then what's there to strive for? Eh? The Cybermen won't advance. You'll just stop! You'll stay like this forever. A metal Earth with metal men and metal thoughts. Lacking the one thing that makes this planet so alive: people. Ordinary, stupid, brilliant people." And if that comes across a little hollow, it's not just the bombastic script. The Doctor doesn't believe it either. Lumic asks if the Doctor's proud of his emotions (he is) if he's known grief, and rage, and pain (he has) and whether these things hurt (they do). "I could set you free," Lumic tells him. "Would you not want that? A life without pain?" The Doctor explains that you might as well kill a person at that point. Which is clumsy, and skips a bunch of steps, though the concept is right. Lumic offers to just kill him, then. Ha! Lumic 1! Doctor 0! "You're a Cyber Controller. You don't control me or anything with blood in its heart." Huh? Lumic 1, Doctor spongiform recondite cravat.

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