Doctor Who
The Almost People

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B | 1 USERS: C-
Two Doctors are Better Than One

Dr. Black Shoes and Buzz find human Jen dead out on the monastery grounds. He touches her face and wishes he could have found her sooner. He realizes Rory's in trouble. Buzz whacks Dr. Black Shoes in the back of the head with his torch. "Sorry, pal, it's boss's orders," he says to the unconscious Dr. Black Shoes. "Us and them, innit?" He scampers off to doom himself.

Dr. Brown Shoes and his motley crew come to the hallway where ganger Jen had been poking her oozy fingers. An eye has formed every place she touched. They move with a squelching sound like overripe tomatoes being squeezed. It's horrifically awesome. "Why are they here?" Amy asks. Keeping an eye on the place. "To accuse," says Dr. Brown Shoes. Everyone skirts around them. The eyes watch them go. Squelch, squelch, squelch.

As Buzz wanders back from his Doctor-bashing, he hears Jen's voice coming from the secret room. "I know it hurts," she says. "I'm sorry. Go to sleep." Instead of running in the opposite direction, Buzz goes to confront her. She's crouching beside the heap o' gangers, petting them. "You killed our Jen," he says. Yes sir, which means you are standing there talking to a murderer, which means you are dumb. Jen tells him she's stronger now. She can grow, she says, and to prove it she unhinges her jaw like a python and advances on him. He screams, as one is wont to do in such situations.

Dr. Brown Shoes and the others run into Rory as alarms begin to sound. He tells them Jen found a way out of the monastery under the crypt. Cleaves tells him it's not on the schematics, but they all follow him anyway.

Dr. Black Shoes comes to with gangers Jimmy, Cleaves and Dicken standing over him. "This is how they'll always treat us," Cleaves says. "You see, now. After all, you're one of us, Doctor." He sighs. "Call me Smith... John Smith." Don't add another name to things at this late stage! I've already settled on Black Shoes!

Rory leads the others into the acid room and then Jen shuts the door on them. "I don't think we have to lock them up," says big fat liar Rory. "We should just show them what we found." The Doctor beats on the glass porthole in the door and curses the trusting dimwit. "Rory Pond! Moranicus Pondicus!" Heh. Although really, maybe you shouldn't have followed him in the first place. Rory defends his actions, telling them that the company's been throwing away old flesh while it's still alive. He wants to show the world. Still, he asks Jen to let them out. When she starts to recount the story about her younger self being lost on the moors, he realizes this is the ganger Jen. By now ganger Cleaves has joined them. Ganger Jen drags Rory away. As ganger Cleaves follows them, she pauses and looks at her progenitor. "We have to be free," she says, almost apologetically. "I'm sorry, too, Miranda," human Cleaves says. "Of all the humans in all the world, you had to pick the one with the clot!" Ganger Cleaves thinks about this for a while. Maybe she's thinking about arguing that she didn't pick anything and that it was her human self that chose to create her. She walks off with a sad smile. Dr. Brown Shoes informs everyone that the acid will soon boil over and kill everyone in the room. Well, at least Cleaves wouldn't die of that clot. Silver linings, people. Silver linings.

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Doctor Who




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