Timmy shivers and stares, and out in the hall his older friend tells him not to get on the "vator" having received a zero: He'll get sent "below." He's confronted by some sort of monk with a winding key around his neck, and the music gets very excited as the friend says she'll wait for him, taking the long way instead of the elevator.

The robot in the box is called a Smiler. What's it for? Being creepy. No other reason. The monk guy is called a Winder. What's he for? Being creepy. No other reason. They enforce the dominant paradigm of the Starship UK, in the creepiest way possible, for no reason. Timmy waits and gets another "vator," once that car's gone, even though she just said not to do it or else he'd be sent below. What's "Below"? Oh, a jolly great area full of tentacles and flames, that exists to be creepy and for no other reason. Timmy asks the "vator" for a ride to London, and then for no real reason a creepy little girl appears on one of the video screens inside, and sings a creepy little song.

A horse and a man, above, below
One has a plan, but both must go
Mile after mile, above, beneath
One has a smile, and one has teeth
Though the man above might say hello
Expect no love from the beast below

What this means: Nothing, really. And it won't, ever, and that's fine because at this point in the story, all that's important is that hypothetical children perform their duty of jumping behind the couch, so let's scare them with some sing-song and some talking-doll and some scary-monk and some floor-dropping-out and some bad-grades and whatever scares kids. Not to tell a cohesive story with anything like a plot, but just to chunk things at their heads and hope one of the fifteen awesome concepts to which we've already been introduced -- and so many more to come! -- actually sticks.

Because kids are stupid, you know? It's easier to write stories for them, because they don't deserve anything. Give them shitty stories, what's the worst that could happen? They grow up to be shitty adults with no stories to understand their lives with? With no ability to tell stories for themselves? And honestly, if it's that simple -- if it's "for kids" -- then what are any of us doing watching it? It's only "for kids," I've noticed, when it's really poorly done. Tells you a lot, I think, about our attitudes toward children.