Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: F | 6 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Starwhales Should Be Afraid Of Their People

Man, you call one shitty episode out and the whole world freaking ends. I haven't gotten this many death threats and questions about my parentage since that ass-terrible BSG finale! It's a funny old thing, the Who thing. I forgot that while I've been over here, spending five hardcore years building a relationship with a franchise I still don't know much about, you've been over there, reading the recaps or not reading them. The break for S3 and S4 certainly didn't help, and nobody seems to understand that the show was officially re-added last year for those Specials, but in any case the bottom line is that, for a lot of Who people, this site "just started recapping this show." Makes sense, right? And what a nice surprise for them... Until they actually started reading.

And I left those people out, I think, which is a problem but not really my problem? Certainly seems to be a problem for a certain scary, vocal population: What is for me a bump in one unbroken road of chances and second chances and loving the show for what it is and feeling like an honorary member of LINDA (Bless Bliss! Glory is the new Grace!) seems to a certain group of tragic people like an unprovoked attack on their entire lives. I get it. Takes an ass to fill every seat, and I am not here to shit on something you (and, unbeknownst to these people, I) love. The last thing I would want to do is piss off anybody, especially anyone already so angry and dissatisfied with their own lives that they could possibly behave in such a classless, ugly way. They don't need me adding to their burdens by criticizing their favorite thing. So it's a bummer, because it sets up a fake me/them that doesn't actually exist.

Although honestly it came close. If you want to see every negative stereotype of Who people play out over one weekend's worth of ugly behavior, I've got the emails. Just like five years ago, when the same shit ("He recaps Gossip Girl and American Idol! Shows about Muggles with talent and social skills, with short skirts and cleavage! How dare he not tell us exactly what we want to hear?") was coming down.

And if I were coming into this show cold, like I was five years ago, I could shrug and say, "Nerds, whattaya do," and leave it at that. People who love this show love all of it, and get mad when somebody says that it's exactly what the Muggles think it is: Silly, childish, low budget trash. Most of the time it's not, but occasionally it is. I don't get to pull back and say it's better than that when it's not. I believe in the show. I don't think the bar is "the worst RTD ever did," which seems to be a lot of superfans' new bar for excellence. "At least it wasn't as bad as X RTD episode," they say, or "Seems to me you have a crush on David Tennant." Or, "Every show has a few bad episodes."

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Doctor Who

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