Doctor Who
The Bells of Saint John

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | 5 USERS: B-

The Doctor slumps off to fetch a couple of cappuccinos from the counter. The elderly barista seems quite friendly at first, then goes a bit blank and says, "You realize you haven't the slightest chance of saving your little friend." Kizlet uses the WiFi to take over a waitress next. "Go on, take a stroll around and see how impossible your situation is," she says. Kizlet takes over the cafe patrons to make them leave. A news reader on the TV pipes up: "We can hack anyone in the WiFi once they've been exposed long enough." He realizes this means there's a base station nearby. The Doctor blusters about how he won't allowed humans to be harmed. Kizlet blah-blahs about how her client loves humanity. He's not harming them; he's just... stealing their souls.

At the same time, her employees have noticed that someone is hacking their webcams. Clara uses snapshots of them to find their accounts on Facebook. Eventually, she finds one of them who posted about working at The Shard, which just happens to be the pointy glass building in the background. She looks up to tell the Doctor about her triumph, but it isn't the Doctor at all, as she discovers when he turns his concave metal head towards her. By the time the real Doctor gets back to her, she's been fully downloaded. He finds her slumped over the table with the base station still standing by.

He hops on his trusty motorcycle and races for The Shard. Kizlet's employees monitor his approach via street cams. "Should we stop him?" one of them asks. "Why bother? It might be quite funny," Kizlet says. Oh, villains. Don't ever change. Kizlet's hubris comes back to bite her in the ass almost immediately as the Doctor rides his bike straight up the building's exterior wall. It's one of the benefits of being from the future, you see.

Kizlet hears glass breaking in her office and goes to find the Doctor sitting at her desk. The bike and pieces of her former window lie on the floor. "Download her back into her body right now," says the Doctor. "She's a fully integrated part of the data cloud now," Kizlet says. "She can't be separated." He tells her to download the entire cloud. Shouldn't that be "upload" from this end of things? Anyway, she says some of them no longer have bodies they can be returned to, but the Doctor thinks it would be better than being trapped in the cloud. "So give the order," he says. "Why would I do that?" she asks. "Because I'm going to motivate you," he says. He takes off his helmet and reveals the back of his metallic head to her. The real Doctor is still back at the cafe, finishing his coffee with temporarily dead Clara.

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Doctor Who




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