MONDO EXTRAS

The Major, Harriet, and Llewellyn join a tiny blonde thing -- identical almost to Marissa Cooper only not troubling-looking -- named Sally Jenkins, who explains that the transmission they're getting now has nothing to do with Mars. Oh man, did you know I had a little funeral for Marissa Cooper in my backyard? It was very solemn. "Guinevere One was broadcasting from a point five thousand miles above the planet," she explains, by which they deduce that the scary bonehead guys have a ship in orbit, with Guinevere One on board. "But if they're not from the surface, then they might not be from Mars itself. Maybe they're not actual Martians?" asks Llewellyn, and everybody else rolls his or her eyes. The Major, in a subtle way: "Of course not, Martians look completely different." You laugh, Llewellyn gapes. Sally says that the ship is still moving; and Harriet asks the inevitable: "Moving in which direction?" Toward us. "How fast?" Very fast. Brilliant. Harriet stares at the projection of the ship's relative movement and utters the words no character actor ever wants to hear on this show: "What was your name, again?" Sally. Have fun dying horribly, Sally. Sally's like, "What? I'm totally cute! I could rock out on Torchwood!" but to no avail. The Prime Minister has spoken. They stare at the screen.

Rose sits on the sofa; Mickey approaches and reminds her that he's got the backdoor into the military grid thanks to having learned that the password for the entire internet is buffalo: "They're tracking a spaceship. It's big, it's fast, and it's coming this way." He shows her the UNIT projection, and Rose looks at him: "Coming for what, though? The Doctor?" Mickey gives yet one more appalling line reading in a lifetime of appalling line readings: not "maybe it's coming for all of us," but instead "maybe it's coming for all of us," which makes vastly less sense. Four of the boneheads appear on the screen and start grinding out a yucky alien tongue which combines the aesthetically displeasing consonants of German and Welsh with the lush, drunken vowels of Tori Amos. Mickey, begging for a TARDISode all of a sudden: "Have you seen them before?" But no luck. Never seen the boneheads before.