After a quick creep through the bowels of the ship fraught with close encounters with poky objects, they make their way to the TARDIS. The captain is astounded, although no one ever seems truly astounded enough. One's first peep at the inside of the TARDIS should inspire explosive bowels, cursing and possibly fainting. Instead, he sort of gapes around and exclaims, "By all the...!" The Doctor cuts him off: "Let me stop you there: Bigger on the inside!" He gestures in different directions toward the bathrooms and kitchen, like the captain is going to pop off and make himself a sandwich in the middle of all this.
Back in the armory, Moppet is coughing and Amy is pouting. "What's wrong?" Rory asks her. "'Most beautiful thing you've ever seen,'" she quotes. I don't think you have room to be jealous, little Miss Doctor-Snogger. But she sort of smiles, so she doesn't seem too put out. The two remaining pirates make plans to leave without the captain.
In the TARDIS, the Doctor is doing his usual crazy stuff around the console. The captain looks at some doohickey and asks, "What's this do?" "That does very, very complicated," the Doctor says. It looks and sounds like an old-fashioned counter bell. He gestures around various instruments and gives the short version of the tour: "That does sophisticated; that does whoa and amazing; and that does whiz-bang-far-too-technical-to-explain." There's a thing that looks like a ball with blue and gold lipstick tubes all over it. The captain points out a few things and identifies them as the wheel, telescope, astrolabe and compass. Although this being the TARDIS, the astrolabe may not be used for navigation but for, like, making grilled cheese or something. The Doctor is noticeably impressed. "A ship's a ship," says the captain simply. Suuuure it is.
Moppet is pissed that the two remaining pirates aren't loyal to his father. He's also still under the impression that his father is a naval officer, so one of the pirates sets him straight. "I've seen your father gun down a thousand innocent men," he says. Moppet stands there, dumbstruck, looking like he's about to cry. Then he grabs a cutlass and goes after the pirates. One guy's all, "You don't know how to fight with a cutlass!" and Moppet's like, "Ha ha, doesn't matter!" and then nicks the guy's hand. Kids are such assholes.
Meanwhile, the Doctor is having a hard time getting the TARDIS to do its whoop-whooping. It's "becalmed" like the pirate ship. The captain gloats a bit because what's dying compared to putting the Doctor in his place? The Doctor babbles about how the TARDIS is "sulking" because it can't see and thus thinks space doesn't exist. Suddenly, something rocks the TARDIS. There's a mechanical sound like something grinding.













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