Doctor Who
The Doctor Dances (2)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Spirit Of The Blitz

Captain Jack stands behind Rose and the Doctor, staring at Jamie. "Okay, on my signal make for the door. ...NOW!" The Doctor pulls out a lovely ripe banana and points it at the child, and grins. He points Jack's purloined blaster at the wall and opens up another square. Why shoot the child, when you can shoot the wall and escape? Why not buy some time? Why violence, when the child's not really the problem? Why add to the deaths? Why shoot a gun at inevitability, when your whole life is constellated around the ability to escape and regroup? The Doctor: "Go! Now! Don't drop the banana! Good source of potassium!"

Out in a hallway, the child approaches the square door. Jack takes his blaster back and seals the hole: "Digital rewind." He tosses the banana back to the Doctor and compliments him on the switch. The Doctor: "It's from the Groves of Villengard. I thought it was appropriate." Captain Jack realizes that the Doctor wasn't kidding about the banana grove, or the fact that the Doctor totally dosed the Factories, and that the Doctor's never kidding, even when he is. The Doctor says, quite simply, "Bananas are good." The child starts to come through the wall.

Down the hall, the masks are awake again, calling "Mummy" and staggering. One of them is pushing another one in a wheelchair, which for some reason is the funniest thing. Lots of Who running about, and they're back where they started, Jamie coming through the wall for them. "It's keeping us here so it can get at us," says the Doctor, and explains that the child is in control of everything now -- that, in fact, it is every living thing in the hospital. Captain Jack explains that his blaster is also "a sonic cannon and a triple-enfolded sonic disruptor," and asks what the Doctor has. The Doctor pulls out his screwdriver, which Jack is too busy wiggling his blaster at the masks to see. It's rather small. The Doctor: "A sonic, er...oh, never mind. It's sonic, okay? Let's leave it at that." Jack pushes, and the Doctor won't say, because he's now had his hands on Jack's blaster at least twice and knows how large and hefty it is. "It's sonic! Totally sonic!" Captain Jack finally turns around for a look when the Doctor admits it's a screwdriver -- and the child bursts through the wall. Who needs a gun when you've got a screwdriver? Who needs to shoot when you can build? Why violence when violence doesn't solve mysteries? The Doctor's not a pacifist in the usual way; he just knows timespace in the Einsteinian sense: all of a piece. This time, Rose grabs the blaster, and opens a hole in the floor, another lateral move away from the fight, because the fight's not the problem and it's not the solution. She shouts, "Going down!"

They fall in a heap, and Captain Jack rewinds the hole above them. The Doctor complains about the lack of warning; Rose complains about the lack of gratitude, and looks for a light switch. "...Who has a sonic screwdriver?" asks Captain Jack. "Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks 'Oo hoo, this could be a little more sonic'?" The Doctor is indignant: "What, you've never been bored? Never had a long night?" This just in: the Doctor cops to spending long bored nights playing with his screwdriver. Rose turns on the lights...and a bunch more masks in beds sit up and start calling "Mummy." Oy with the zombies already. But then, familiarity breeds contempt, and contempt isn't love, but it's not brainless fear either, and they're not scary, just fucked up. They don't need to be scary anymore for the story to matter. Captain Jack tries to blast another door, but his gun's not working, so he steps aside for the Doctor's screwdriver. Captain Jack thwacks his gun: "It's the special features; they really drain the battery." As they dash through the door, Rose offers the opinion that needing batteries for your blaster is not only lame but, like, "so lame." Captain Jack points out that he was going to get extras, but that somebody has/will/is currently blown/blowing up the Factory. Time travel gives me the brain shakes. "Oh, I know -- first day I met him he blew my job up," Rose informs Jack. "That's practically how he communicates." The Doctor calls for a list of assets. Jack: "Well, I've got a banana, and at [in] a pinch you could put up some shelves..." The Doctor heads to the window, but Captain Jack reminds him that they are barred, with a sheer drop down: "Seven [eight] stories." Rose -- I guess not getting the definition of "asset" any better than Trump -- points out that there are also "no uvver exits." Captain Jack takes a seat. Like all good friends of mine on this show, he would rather sit down and have a nice drink than flip out. Even when that's the saddest, scariest thing of all: "Well, the assets conversation went in a flash, didn't it?"

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