Jeff's busy masturbating when the Doctor gets to Gran's house, so there's a bit of urban fervor before the Doctor can seize his computer and babble some more. "The sun's gone wibbly, so right now, somewhere, there's going to be a big video conference call. All the experts in the world panicking at once, and do you know what they need? Me. Ah, and here they all are. All the big boys. NASA, Jodrell Bank, Tokyo Space Centre, Patrick Moore..." He offers to introduce Gran to this last, who is apparently "a devil" with the ladies, and then decides to annoy the global security community at large.

"I know, you should switch me off. But before you do, watch this! Fermat's Theorem. The proof, and I mean the real one, never seen before. Poor old Fermat, got killed in a duel before he could write it down. My fault, I slept in. Oh, and here's an oldie but a goodie: Why electrons have mass! And a personal favorite of mine, faster-than-light travel, with two diagrams and a joke! Look at your screens: Whoever I am, I'm a genius."

If you're the sort of person who enjoys it when fictional people tell you how freakin' awesome they are, then you are going to love this season of Doctor Who. (Or should I say, "Basically... It rocks!") But if you find that sort of thing flesh-crawlingly dorky, then I would suggest you avert your eyes if, at any point, the Doctor starts talking. And I'm not being unsympathetic, because I completely understand why geeks find this construction funny ("a, b, c...n, so basically x," where a through n, inclusive, are bullet points in a list and x is an unexpected summation, either comically understated or grammatically surprising, or sarcastic in some way), because it's how their brains work. It's why Monty Python and puns are funny: The subversion of expected outcomes into absurdity. But for the rest of us it's a horribly embarrassing rhetorical theme, and worst of all it's a tic: The Doctor's already done it twice in this episode and I left it out because I don't approve.

So now we follow up with why he needed the phone, which is because he's writing a computer virus, about which a, b, c ... n also equals x, and sending it from the phone for reasons he's not telling us to all of the geniuses onscreen. It's a "reset command" which "gets in the wi-fi" and "resets every counter it can find." Basically, the entire world will begin transmitting ZERO at the same time, making -- another favorite Moffat theme -- the Prisoner and the message the same thing. Then he hands the worlds' leaders over to Jeff, and we get another speech that means nothing but rising music and believe-in-yourself treacle, delivered to someone we couldn't care less about.