Doctor Who
Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A- | 1304 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Jack Attack!

Inside Captain Jack's ship, his computer's all calling Rose a "non-contemporaneous life form," and he tells her to "hold tight," and she asks to what exactly, given that there aren't any tiger's tails or rabid wolverines she can grab, and he says it's a "fair point," and...no. It's a "good point," or a "fair argument," but it's not a "fair point." I realize he's not actually American, but that's no excuse. Rose goes screaming down the blue science beam, and...

...cut to Rose being caught gently in Captain Jack's arms. She coughs, stunned, and he comforts her, saying that the tractor beam can "scramble your head" a little. Not as much as the total hotness of Captain Jack, which Rose realizes, and the breathing goes all heavy: "Hello." He woggles at her a tiny bit around the eyebrows and says "Hello," and she takes things a step further: "Hello." He nods and woggles, and she apologizes for the double greeting: "Dull, but...you know. Thorough." She gets a lot funnier when she's wacky. Captain Jack sets Rose on her feet as she's protesting that she's fine and asking if he expects her to faint. "Well, you do look a little dizzy," he says, and she laughs, all punchy: "What about you? You're not even focused!" She then collapses forward, a tiny "Oh bollocks" on her tongue. Captain Jack laughs as she faints into his arms again, and lifts her into a bed.

Some kids run down the road toward the Lloyds' under monster-little-boy-vision surveillance. It's a very creepy little mood-setter, this: one kid reaches down to tie his shoelace, and the scary child steps toward him, and the kid ties his shoelace and runs into the house, and the child comes closer to the front door. Creepy, that is, until yet again we get a commercial break where God intended no commercial break to be.

Nancy cuts the Lloyds' meat for what has grown to be quite a large meeting of the Central Casting Waifs & Strays Society. Ernie says again that you could never get that much food on coupons alone, so this has to be black-market stuff, and Nancy, exasperated, gives him washing-up duties after dinner: "We are guests in this house!" The other kids laugh at Ernie, and Nancy notices another little boy she hasn't seen before. He says that one of the others told him about her dinner parties, and asks if he's sleeping rough. I've always liked that term since I first heard it in the old Warren Ellis gay Superman/Batman stories. Good times. Nancy tells them they get a slice each, and that she wants "to see everyone chewing properly," and then one by one they pass the platter and thank her: "Thank ya, miss!" "Thanks, miss!" "Thank you miss." And then the Doctor: "Thanks, miss!" Lots of appearing and disappearing in this episode. It's evocative. Where did he come from?

Doctor Who

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