But enough of that weirdo crazy talk. I wanna see Reinette kicking ass: "Can everyone just calm down? Please." She addresses the ballroom. Her ballroom. The ballroom at Versailles. Her people, her party, her circle, her ballroom. The other side of the girl who is a spaceship, who we've only met one-on-one, in her bedroom for the most part, so that the looooove can happen. She's not just a bad-ass one-on-one, though: "Such a commotion. Such distressing noise. Kindly remember that this is Versailles. This is the Royal Court. And we are French." (Dude, if the "you are nothing" speech didn't do it for you...I would marry this girl!) She turns to the automatons. And say what you will, but this part I do believe is historically feasible, because as big a ninny as she was in some ways, she knew a thing or two about disobedience: "I have made a decision. And my decision is: No. I shall not be going with you today. I have seen your world, and I have no desire to set foot there again." (Not the Doctor's world, she realizes -- that's the world beneath her feet, and in her heart -- but the spaceship world, with its perversions of flesh and half-baked Cylon bullshit.) "We do not require your feet," says the automatons, which is funny from a writerly standpoint and would be funny if a murderous spaceship clown monster said that to you, except it's neither sassy nor is it particularly courtly. I get enough machine logic on the other show, dude. Reinette is going to beat their asses SOUNDLY.

Two automatons approach, and push her to her knees, weapons at her neck. The head tick-tock does so as well, and she looks up at him: "You think I fear you. But I do not fear you, even now. You are merely the nightmare of my childhood. The monster from under my bed. And if my nightmare can return to plague me, then rest assured," she whispers, "so will yours." Which is like...she's like Uma Thurman and Glenn Close (thirty years later) had a violent French baby. If somebody's just perfect, when do you give up and let go and stop thinking, "They're trying to make this person perfect." You see it in dating all the time, that paranoia. It causes pain. Right now, everything is so perfect...