Doctor Who
The Girl In The Fireplace

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Let Them Eat Awesome

The Doctor crouches at Reinette's bedside, still speaking in a soft, even tone. Which does not make any of this less terrifying at all: "Stay on the bed. Right in the middle. Don't put your hands or feet over the edge." He scans under the bed with the screwdriver, and something knocks it out of his hand. Reinette gasps; the Doctor scrambles to look underneath. There are feet. Terrible, scary French feet! The Doctor raises up again, looking at and past Reinette with his eyes wide: "Reinette. Don't look round." Um, here's why. At the long, slow reveal, half in the dark, and that ticking, ticking, and his voice all soft and worrisome, I made a noise I have never before made in my life. Reinette doesn't look up; the clown leers down at her. "You stay exactly where you are," the Doctor tells her, standing, Spidey-sense a-tingle. He takes her head in his hands and stares into her eyes for a moment, and then yells at the horrible clown monster of death: "You've been scanning her brain!" He looks at Reinette again before straightening up and yelling some more: "You've crossed two galaxies and thousands of years just to scan a child's brain? What could there be in a little girl's mind worth blowing a hole in the universe?" Reinette gets concerned: "It wants me?" She turns to the monster, and without even flinching, asks it directly, "You want me?" Just appalled. It twitches and speaks robotically: "Not yet. You are incomplete." The Doctor wants to know what the hell that means, but the thing ignores him. He brings out the screwdriver: "You can answer her, you can answer me. What do you mean, 'incomplete'?" The awful thing doesn't speak -- just walks mechanically around the bed toward the Doctor, as some rather cruel blades come popping out close to his face. Don't hurt his face! He tilts away, and Reinette urges him to watch out. "Just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry about it," the Doctor tells her. "Everyone has nightmares. Even monsters from under the bed have nightmares, don't you, monster?" The Doctor jumps around, finally tricking the thing into getting its blade stuck in the mantel. "What do monsters have nightmares about?" asks Reinette, and he laughs, turning the fireplace back inside out: "Me!" Reinette smiles sweetly as the Doctor and the monster disappear.

Rose calls out as the Doctor reappears on the other side of the wall; before anything can happen, he's grabbed a device and sprayed the thing down with ice. Mickey's well pleased -- "Excellent! Ice gun!" -- and the Doctor tosses it to Rose: "Fire extinguisher." The Doctor explains that the beastie is from the spaceship side, and that it's dressed like this for camouflage on its "field trip to France." He praises the needlework, although he thinks -- and I fervently goddamn agree -- that it's a shame about the face. He pulls off its wig, always awesome, revealing a clear plastic head filled with beautiful clockwork. The Doctor wriggles and gyrates about how beautiful it is, and puts on his glasses: "No really, you are, you're gorgeous! Look at that! Space-age clockwork, I love it! I've got chills! Listen, seriously, I mean this from the heart -- and, by the way, count those -- it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism to disassemble you." But of course, that won't stop him, he adds, pulling out the screwdriver. The robot creaks and then teleports away; the Doctor kicks into action and heads back to the fireplace: "Short-range teleport, can't have got far. Could still be on board -- Don't go looking for it!" he adds, pointing at Mickey and Rose. "Back in a sec."

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