Doctor Who
Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 1663 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Taffy Was A Thief

Meanwhile, over at the Big Mining Thing, the drill is shut down and there's no sign of Mo. Nobody's come in or left, and there are mysterious holes. These people love holes so damn much, I don't know why that's a problem.

Something stupid goes on with Rory where he meets Ambrose, who assumes that he is from CSI Cardiff and is there to investigate some missing coffins. It mainly serves to introduce Ambrose, who is Mo's wife, a harridan, and who runs Meals On Wheels for the entire valley. Where nobody but them lives. Some of us just call this "dinner." And I don't know what else she's up that she needs to give herself airs and a fancy van for this, considering your job opportunities are: 1) Stare at the hole or 2) Dig the hole.

While Amy and the Doctor break into the Big Mining Thing, Ambrose explains a sort of gross country-folk story about how her dead uncle Alun was meant to be buried with her dead aunt Gladys but when they dug her ass up, it was gone. "Body, coffin, everything." But there was no sign of disturbance on the surface, we're told by the I guess keen-eyed tracker Ambrose. Rory, being an idiot, asks her to explain that entire thing again. Ambrose, having been married to Mo for at least ten years, does so without blinking.

The ground still doesn't feel like it should, but Amy advances the theory that ten years in the future, that's what the ground feels like. I like this theory. The Doctor eats some blue grass and then spits it out again, making her giggle, and they are cute for a second. Further in, to where the random holes have begun appearing, we meet Nasreen and Mack. Everybody asks everybody who the hell they are for awhile, psychic paper, the Doctor realizes that blue grass + random holes + BMT = danger, but speaks as elliptically as possible about the reasons and qualities of this danger for a good while as everybody runs around panicking.

Seems the ground is attacking. The Doctor tells Amy not to fall in the holes. So she does.

Ten minutes of Artax and Atreyu later, the Doctor cries into his pudding for awhile and then straightens up and continues refusing to explain one single solitary thing that has happened so far, while everybody how fucking stupid they are. It's still rude and not funny, and it still does nothing to further the story.

And his opposite number, cruddy little Elliot, starts pacing around the grave where Rory is, talking all this "When you've eliminated the impossible whatever remains," bullshit of the sort unlikely precocious kids on bad TV shows are always affecting (at least Elliot references how he likes the audiobooks of Sherlock Holmes, so it's not a total waste), and basically the graves are eating people.

Doctor Who

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