Doctor Who
The Hungry Earth

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 3 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Taffy Was A Thief

Elliot's point, and it's a valid one, is that he can just listen to audiobooks rather than fight with the idea of reading, but Mo is all about persevering. Like, why give up when you can live in a valley in South Wales where nobody but your two relatives live, and stare all day at a literal hole in the literal ground. At least you're not working at Torchwood.

Mo asks Elliot, "Who loves you more than me?" And Elliot responds, "No one!" Which is unhealthy, but especially since Ambrose is standing right there. Mostly because she's a bitch and you know she's going to make much of it, but also because now she's something to prove. "How about I torture somebody to death for no reason, huh? What then?"

Mo takes his whopping 700-word tome and hops on his little bike and heads down the cwm and into work, which is: A drill going all the way into the earth, kept working by his father-in-law and this awesome old lady Nasreen, and between zero and fifty of some other people. What are they drilling for? We don't ever find out. From things Nasreen says, it seems like they're just drilling to drill, like for the thrill of it. That sweet loamy drill-thrill thrill of drilling.

"21 kilometers, folks! Further than anyone's ever drilled into the Earth. Thanks for your amazing work!" That's all we hear, just Nasreen congratulating everybody on yet another day of drilling. "Onwards and downwards," says Elliot's grandfather, and they're like, "How much further do you think we can we go?" Then they all congratulate each other on how they drilled really deep into the earth, and go home to rest up for another awesome day of drilling a hole tomorrow morning.

Mo settles in to savor some of the suspense -- What will happen to the mouse this time? -- and to watch the drill, or the hole, or something. It's his job. I guess Ambrose felt sorry for his illiterate Welsh ass and she was like, "Dad, you know that hole you're drilling? Don't you think somebody should watch it at night, lest it somehow become less deep?" And Mack the granddad was like, "Aye, but you're angling for a job for the good-for-nothing mwnci," and she was like, "Dad, don't start."

There's a lot of sounds suddenly and lights blinking and whoop-whoop and then Mo finds a hole somewhere they're not drilling, and there's strange steam coming out of it, and so he sticks his big old stupid hand in there and then the hole eats him. If only the sign saying NO TOUCHING STRANGE STEAMING HOLES had an illustration, like a hole with steam coming out and a man reaching for it and a big red circle with a slash through it. This means you, Mo. But I guess Wales doesn't have OSHA. Or if they do it's probably spelled all fucked up. Being dyslexic in Wales is like the worst situation, because you're already halfway there.

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