Doctor Who
The Hungry Earth

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 3 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Taffy Was A Thief

There's a whole thing I still don't really understand where the Doctor makes everybody gather up "every phone, every camera, every piece of recording or transmitting equipment... Every burglar alarm, every movement sensor, every security light." I am sure there's a reason for this but I still haven't figured out what he's doing or what the plan is, and I've spent literally a month trying to figure it out. Anyway, he tells Elliot that it's cool to be dyslexic, and meanwhile Ambrose is getting a whole pile of weapons together -- cricket bat, taser, axes -- and the Doctor gets real sexy and real scary up in her face about no weapons. Matt Smith, as usual, saves this entire episode. With Nasreen quick behind.

Oh wait, okay: "First, the sensors and cameras will tell us when something arrives. Second, if something does arrive, I use this to send a sonic pulse through that network of devices, a pulse which would temporarily incapacitate most things in the universe." So... Like a weapon, yeah? Basically?

There's an awesome moment, admittedly, where Elliot describes his wish to get the hell out of the country and into the city -- "Soon as I'm old enough, I'll be off" -- and the Doctor loves him because he was the same way. "Did you get away?" Yeah. "Do you ever miss it?" So much.

He's not scared of monsters, they're scared of him -- but no weapons! -- and then he lets Elliot run home to get his headphones, which is totally fine and not a problem, but you just know they're going to make a huge fucking deal about it later because the church door is going to stick and Elliot won't be able to get in and they'll be like, "That innocuous thing you did!" And he'll be like, "I am to blame. I will save your son." And he'll make that Atreyu face again, and you'll want to kiss it better. So I guess not all bad.

Now the bubble is turning black so it's nighttime, even as they're locking down some other part of the plan I still don't get. That was pretty scary, this bit. The door's stuck yet again, and the Doctor can't sonic it open, which Rory bitches about -- "Don't diss the sonic!" -- and they get inside and listen to the gnomes coming, and then Ambrose realizes Elliot's still outside getting his headphones, and crawls right up the Doctor's ass about it, and there's a sort of shape out in the dark graveyard running back and forth for no real reason while he's banging on the door, and it's real freaking creepy.

And then they nab him. Maybe he can lecture them about things until they send him back. Or just send Ambrose out there and she'll scare them off forever. Or commit genocide for no real reason, or something. Ambrose runs out, finds the damned headphones, and screams. The gnome, which has a scary bone face with giant black eyes and a long scary body, jumps on Ambrose and almost takes her away too, but then doesn't. Good call, she's awful. Old Mack comes lumbering up and the gnome gives him a lash of the tongue, and he's down, and then Ambrose helps him back into the church.

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Doctor Who

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