Doctor Who
The Impossible Planet (1)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
When You Were Young

The Doctor and Ida head along a rock wall, Ida lighting up the ground ahead of them: "We're close. Energy signature indicates North Northwest. Are you getting pictures up there?" No, of course not. Too much interference. Noise in the signal. "Well, we've come this far," says Ida matter-of-factly. "There's no turning back." The Doctor begins to whine that you never say things like that: "That's almost as bad as 'nothing can possibly go wrong' or 'this is gonna be the best Christmas Walford's ever had.'" Ida doesn't watch EastEnders, though, so she just waits for the Doctor to shut up. He looks at her a bit, admits that he's done, and then walks off; she stares after him, finally amused.

"Captain, sir. There's something happening with the Ood. They're staring at me. I've told them to stop, but they won't." Zach scoffs at Danny and calls him a big boy: "I think you can take being stared at." Danny protests that the telepathic field is now at BASIC 100, which is brain death. Zach tells Danny to keep watching them, and tells Jefferson to dispatch a guard for them. Rose is concerned when they pick up guns, but Jefferson sternly informs her that it's just Stock 15, which only works on organic materials like the Ood. The Doctor asks if everything's okay, and Rose quickly tells him that it is. Zach says that it's fine, Danny is less sure.

The Zero Point is the fucking Seal Of Danzalthar. Like to the point where you probably have to shank Danny Strong to get it working properly. However, such is my hate for "Love And Monsters" that I'm not even going to complain. It's a huge metal seal, the Doctor says, or like a trapdoor: "Not a good word, trapdoor. Never met a trapdoor I liked." Ida illuminates the edge, on which (of course) are scrawled all the awful language. "Do you think it opens?" asks Zach. Get out of there! Everybody! This is already scary! The Doctor is just a tad grim at that one: "That's what trapdoors tend to do." Ida walks around the perimeter. "'Trapdoor' doesn't do it justice. It's massive, Zach. About thirty feet in diameter." He asks if they can open it. NO! Don't they have Buffy where you come from? God! "I suppose that's the writing that'll tell us what to do," snarks the Doc. "The letters that defy translation." Zach asks Toby -- still busily formicating in the corner -- if he ever got anywhere with the language. Rose repeats the question, but in a way that's helpful rather than annoying somehow: "That lettering, does it make any sort of sense?" His head is in his arms, Toby speaks quietly: "I know what it says." Rose tells him to tell them -- even as Jefferson's asking when the hell that would have happened -- and Toby stands. When he turns toward them, he is covered in the language of the abyss and his eyes are red. He glories in the voice and speech of the Beast: "These are the words of the Beast. And he has woken." Jefferson points his gun at Toby. "He is the heart that beats in the darkness, he is the blood that will never cease," says Toby. "And now he will rise." Jefferson begins to shout.

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