Doctor Who
The Impossible Planet (1)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
When You Were Young

The Doctor opens yet another hatch: "We've gone beyond the reach of the TARDIS's knowledge. Not a good move." On the other side of the door is a Lovecraft army: tentacles in open faces, cloaks, Moon Children carrying bright orbs. The Doctor smiles nervously and begins to equivocate -- "I was just saying, uh...nice base!" -- and the creatures speak as one: "We must feed." The Doctor asks for clarification, and they repeat: "We must feed." Rose intuits, based on their creepiness, that they mean to feed upon the Doctor and his Companion. The Doctor and Rose back away as the creatures advance: "We must feed. We must feed. We must feed." In this show, the baddies are of two sorts: the zombies and the lonely. And they intersect in strange directions, but this is always true: they must feed. The creatures corner the Doctor and Rose; she picks up a chair as he readies his screwdriver. "We must feed. We must feed." The Doctor and Rose are backed up against the wall, the creatures pressing in on the camera: "We must feed. We must feed. We must feed. We must feed. We must feed."

Very scary but not half as scary as it'll get. Credits; episode by Matt Jones, who also worked on Queer As Folk (the good one). "We must feed..." says the head creature, and then shakes his orb, tapping it lightly: "...You. If you are hungry." Droll. The Doctor, confused, lowers his screwdriver; the creatures apologize: "Electromagnetics have interfered with our speech systems." Translation errors? Welcome to Hell: staring the truth in the face and not recognizing the message. Rose finally puts down her chair, and the creatures ask if the Doctor and Rose would like refreshment. Zombies who serve? That used to be, like, Rose's favorite thing. Every week, she'd zero in on the Chip or the Shadout Mapes or whatever and try to make friends. Here, Rose and the Doctor stare at the creatures until their eyes cross, and another door opens. A man named Jefferson comes in, with two guards bearing arms. "What the hell?" he asks, staring at the Doctor and Rose, and yells into his wrist communicator: "Captain, you're not going to believe this. We've got people. Out of nowhere. I mean, real people. I mean two living people. Just standing here, right in front of me." The Doctor and Rose stare at him, confused by all the hubbub, and Zach, the new sanctuary captain, answers back: "Don't be stupid. That's impossible." Jefferson, without even knowing how our guys operate, just stares: "I suggest telling them that." Don't mention the word "impossible" to the Doctor and Rose unless you're prepared for the consequences! "You're a sort of space base," says Rose. "You must have visitors now and then. It can't be that impossible." Don't say something is impossible on this show! Jefferson's confused and a little angry: "You're telling me you don't know where you are?" The Doctor grins adorably. "No idea. More fun that way!" Another crewman, Scooti, calls over the PA that there's "incoming": "And it's a big one. Quake Point 5 on its way." The base starts to quake, and Jefferson opens another door, shouting orders: "Through here! Now. Quickly, come on! Move!" Everybody gets bashed around as the station gets more and more unstable. The Ood are useless, bumping into each other. Alarms sound. The Doctor and Rose join the group, running back behind Jefferson toward another room. There's running about like this is Doctor Who, for a good long time, sparks everywhere, Rose screams a little bit, and Jefferson just keeps yelling at them to move.

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Doctor Who

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