Doctor Who
The Impossible Planet (1)

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
When You Were Young

"Entering night shift. Your chosen track for transition is Ravel's Boléro." (Torvill and Dean won perfect sixes at the 1984 Winter Olympics to that one.) Jefferson wanders among the working Ood as the music goes on and on; he watches Scooti at work on the surface. She grins at him through the window and says she's coming in.

Elsewhere, the music playing across it all, Danny checks off the Ood as they file past him to their resting places. When they said they didn't have names, that wasn't exactly right. They have designations: "Ood 7 Gamma 10. Ood 7 Gamma 11. Ood 7 Gamma 12." Those aren't names, though.

The music carries us to Toby's office, where he's examining fragments of the ancient scrolls under a microscope. The music cuts off sharply; Toby looks around, and then goes back to his work. "Toby..." says the voice again. The Beast. Toby jerks upright and looks around; once again, he fights the urge and goes back to work. "I can see you..." The whole thing about the "biggest lie the Devil ever perpetrated" is more insidious than that, because by ignoring the darkness or pretending you can avoid it, you set yourself up for a bigger slap in the end. "Danny, is that you? It's not funny, all right?" Silence. He gets up and walks to the door, calling for "Dan," but there's no one. Even in the hallway. "I'm trying to work, Daniel." (The Ethics officer has three names and the Ood don't even get one.) "Look, if that's you, then can you just stop it?" Toby's total lack of confidence loses confidence. As he heads back to his room, a growl arises from everywhere at once. He stops, and is met by silence. (The voice was provided by Gabriel Woolf, who played Sutekh the Destroyer in "Pyramids Of Mars"; one of the names of the Beast is "Sutekh," but it's just a providential coincidence that it worked out this way.) The Beast has many names and many faces. Welcome to Hell.

"Danny, check the temperature of Ood Habitation," orders Zach. It's rising. The Doctor and Rose sit in the canteen where this all started, under the ancient untranslatable text; the Doctor stares at it in consternation. Rose heads to the hatch, where the Ood are serving food; Scooti tells her to help herself, but to avoid the green stuff and the blue stuff. They laugh easily, and Rose picks up a tray, pointing to some other stuff. The Ood spoons some onto her tray and politely asks if she'd like sauce; she agrees, and smiles warmly: "I did that job once. I was a dinner lady! Not that I'm calling you a lady. Although, I dunno, you might be. Do you actually get paid, though? Do they give you money?" Hermione strikes again! The Ood looks at her and speaks again, very politely: "The Beast and his Armies shall rise from the Pit to make war against God." Rose: "The fuck?" (Jacob: "Seriously?") The Ood taps its communication orb again, translation errors abounding: "Apologies. I said I hope you enjoy your meal." Rose gawps and grabs her tray, thrown way off. Ultimately, she ignores the information and goes to her dinner, shaking it off.

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Doctor Who

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