Doctor Who
The Long Game

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Re-Animated Corpse Of Anderson Cooper

The Doctor and Rose run across Floor 500 hand in hand, huge clumps of snow coming down all around, as the Jagrafess and the Editor shout in pain and fear, the beast growing ever wilder and more swollen. In the Floor 500 broadcast room, the Doctor snaps his fingers, ending Cathica's spike. She looks up at him, and they smile. The sun rises over Earth, down below.

Later, Floor 139 gets its collective post-traumatic on. The Doctor and Cathica sit at a canteen table, Rose leaning against the bar behind them. The Doctor tells Cathica, "We're just gonna go. I hate tidying up, too many questions. You'll manage." Cathica's not feeling him there, saying that nobody's going to believe her without him explaining the information, but he says that humanity should be accelerating back to normal soon enough. How many worlds has the Doctor ended? (Ask Milton.) Like, what episode number is this?

Interesting, because of the whole ninety-year thing, like, it was made explicit that the Jagrafess seemingly doesn't have time-travel capability, but the whole ninety-year thing implies that somebody with time-travel capabilities is indirectly responsible for this, because in a linear mode, there's no such thing as the retarded development the Doctor is talking about. There's just...development. You have to exit the system and come down on it in a different place, in order to make things different at 200,000, or else the Doctor wouldn't know the difference. But he's been here before, and it's very different, so: time travel. Either (a) this is going to be one of those "Rose kills a butterfly in 1869 and that causes the Jagrafess to get the Earth contract in 199,909" things, or (b) there's a player we don't know about yet, or (c) I'm missing something painfully obvious and my inbox will hate me in the morning, or (d) Jagrafess works for Bad Wolf, Ram & Hart Inc., or some analog thereby, or (e) some alphabetical combination of the above, which would rock the mostest. That's what I got at this time. (And if I'm right about any of this, or wrong, or anywhere in between, and you email me about it, I will send you a dead dog's head over the internet and I'm not kidding. Spoiler-free's the way to be, and if I didn't enjoy this part, I would go watch the episodes or read about them on the internet. In today's technological climate, knowing things before your friends doesn't make you awesome, it makes you weak. (Or, you know, British or Canadian, both of which are awesome things to be.) I will not be impressed. Not even if you send me a "just you wait" email. Let it lie, it'll be over in what, a month, and I have no idea where you even get a dead dog. In any case, there's any number of long games being played, clearly.)

Cathica asks about their "friend" Adam, and the Doctor makes it clear that that's the wrong word, and then gets right up in Adam's face. Adam, who left Rose to die and didn't look back. Deaf to Rose's pleas for non-violence, still the Doctor advances. And Adam, as usual, is having read-the-room troubles: "I'm all right now! Much better..." Well, good, and thank Jagrafess for that. Adam laughs, nervous, as the Doctor comes closer. "It all worked out for the best, didn't it?" If Adam came clean right now, what would happen? The Doctor snatches the TARDIS key, and unlocks the door, collaring Adam. "...You know, it's not actually my fault, because you were in charge," Adam seals the deal, and the Doctor shoves him in the TARDIS without a word...

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