Doctor Who
The Long Game

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Re-Animated Corpse Of Anderson Cooper

Episode by Russell Davies, and it's quite good for all that. He's a good guy, and he loves the Doctor. And Rose.

The Doctor begs Adam to "open his mind," (okay?! Of course I love him) walking with his arms around the shoulders of his Companions. "You're gonna like this fantastic period of history. The human race at its most intelligent: culture, art, politics. This era has got fine food, good manners..." Just then, everything goes nuts. A man shouts at them to get out of the way, and all of a sudden Floor 139 comes alive. Food stalls everywhere, strange circus music, lines forming out of nowhere, people everywhere, a full-on bazaar, where there was silence a few seconds ago. A stall-keeper yells at a cute guy with spiky hair to get back, and Rose wonders at the "fine cuisine" the Doctor mentioned. He's thrown way off -- bad sign! -- and checks his funny little watch. Rose digs at him: "That's what comes of showing off: your history's not as good as you thought it was." But the Doctor wasn't the one showing off; his information is fine. It's the world that's off. Noise in the signal. Adam wonders aloud about how there's supposed to be this million-planet federation and all these species, but everywhere they look, it's British people. The Doctor allows that it's a good question, and pauses. "Actually, that is a good question," he repeats, and his face goes quiet a moment before he jumps on Adam, all friendly and Doctor-like: "Adam, me old mate, you must be starving!" Adam says that he's time-sick, and the Doctor says again he needs some grub. A stall-keeper tells the Doctor a cronk burger's "two credits twenty," and calls him "sweetheart," and tells them to stop goggling and get in line.

The Doctor takes Rose and Adam to an ATM and sonic screwdrives it. A long metal strip falls out, and the Doctor tells Adam it's pocket money and takes off. Adam gets all questiony about it -- the information -- and the Doctor tells him to fuck off: "The thing is, Adam, time travel's like visiting Paris. You can't just read the guide book; you've got to throw yourself in. Eat the food, use the wrong verbs, get charged double, and end up kissing complete strangers." No doubt a reference to some episode from 1937. Rose laughs and Adam stares, because can't you just give us the information? Do we really have to find out for ourselves? It's like the one thing the Doctor hates most: in a world of infinite possibility and no fear at all, what worse sin is there than sitting at his feet waiting for more? The Doctor: "Stop asking questions! Go on, do it!" There's a world of difference between asking the Doctor for the easy way out, and getting out onto Floor 139 and fucking it up himself. If Adam can figure that out, he'll have the Doctor in his court forever. And if he can't, he'll probably enjoy "Dalek" even more than the considerable amount I did, and send me a bunch of mean emails implying that I hated it, and that I am evil, and then I'd have to send him the "If my response was really that simplistic, the thing wouldn't have been a million pages long" email, and that always comes off snotty. Rose takes off after Adam, and the Doctor jokes that it's a first date. "You're going to get a smack, you are," Rose laughs, and the Doctor grins, but once he's gone, his smile fades quickly. To work.

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