Luckily, the Pandorica is finally opening -- and it is gorgeous, all wheels-within-wheels and glowing Tronnishly -- and River's on a horse getting more and more annoyed with the Doctor's lack of plan. She rides off to get the TARDIS for him, while he has a conversation with the opening Pandorica, which is not a great conversationalist. Rejected, he runs outside and stands on a big rock and gives the first and only truly marvelous version of the Big Bad-Ass Speech with which this season has been rife:
"Hello, Stonehenge! Who takes the Pandorica, takes the universe. But bad news, everyone. Because guess who? Ha! Listen, you lot, you're all whizzing about, it's really very distracting. Could you all just stay still a minute? Because I am talking! The question of the hour is, Who's got the Pandorica? Answer: I do. Next question, who's coming to take it from me? Come on! Look at me! No plan, no backup, no weapons worth a damn. Oh, and something else, I don't have anything to lose! So if you're sitting up there in your silly little spaceship, with all your silly little guns, and you've got any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight, just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you. And then -- and then -- do the smart thing. Let somebody else try first."
Somehow not annoying, even with the flashing lights and magical music and mussed up gorgeous hair and Romans staring adoringly. I think it's because Matt Smith is amazing. He literally kept it from being obnoxious somehow and I cannot figure out how he did it. Point made, standing taller than ever, and knowing or believing that they'll fall to infighting for at least a bit longer, he struts off while the Romans stand around writing his name over and over on their Custodis Irretitus.
River can't get the TARDIS working, she's jerking all over the place and refuses to go anywhere. Down in the Underhenge, Amy's finally woken up -- the Doctor worries about Rory quite clearly at this point -- and he sends her out for fresh air. "Is it safe up there?" He giggles. "Not remotely, but it's fresh." On her way out she spots Rory, woozily remembering him as "The guy, yeah? The one who did the... Swordy thing?" And she thanks him, as his face gets sadder and sadder and more and more difficult to look at, and she keeps walking. "My men are up there. They'll look after you." It is brutal. The Doctor reminds him that he doesn't exist, which is like not the most comforting thing you can say, but does kinda cover the facts.