MONDO EXTRAS

Someone runs the photo of Steve up the stairs of the Vatican, and there is a lot of Italian yelling of a type you've seen in every movie where things happen.

Crush Bar, Manchester. My boy Mark "Clive" Benton cheers down at Jude from a balcony. I looooove Mark Benton. Love him. He's such a good actor, and I like looking at his awesome face. He plays a sadsack in this movie, and also the Devil, but it's a testament to all three main actors that he's just about as sympathetic as the other two throughout. (Ha, sorry, but it's true: I feel more sympathy for Johnny Tyler, Benton's character, in this movie than for anybody else, because ordinarily, feeling sorry for oneself is the dealbreaker, but they all feel sorry for themselves the exact same fucking amount!)

Johnny spills his beer waving, very enthused, and Jude's already disappointed by his looks. They sit, and he's like, "I know the drill, one drink and you're off," and she's like, "Says who?" She does admit that he's changed a bit since he filmed his video for the dating service. He says he's gained weight, yeah, and they keep bugging him to change it. (The script is funny because his weight fluctuations come up all the time, but of course they aren't real: it's all accomplished through the science of haircuts!) Jude says that she's no Kate Moss, and he calls her daft. (She proves her point later by resisting the charms of Pete Doherty, even though he's vomiting on her while shooting her up with a combination of laundry detergent and his own urine.) "You're gorgeous!" Johnny enthuses. "Divorced?" Johnny says that the ex must be an idiot, and Jude smiles a tiny bit: "I think he is, yeah." Johnny tries to angle her in for after the first drink, so sweetly, and her cell goes off. "Sorry, should have turned it off," she says. She answers, graciously saying right away that she's busy, and Johnny hits the breath spray, already kind of expecting her to take off. He smiles, brave front. You could just smack him. "What the hell's he doing there?" she harshes out, as Johnny watches, so ready for the pain that he's going to supply it himself. "Emergency?" he nods, and she begs off. "Friend's in hospital! Gotta go!" She sees the disbelief, edging on bitterness, and feels bad about it: "Not making it up!" Jude begs Johnny to remember how that man disappeared six weeks ago, driving her to date strange possessed men, and how it was on the news. "Nice to meet you, bye," says Johnny. The snake underneath it. Jude apologizes and takes off, worried for Steve, and we focus in on Johnny's lovely smile. "BITCH!" he shouts, as she makes for the door, and when she turns, he raises a beer and smiles. Ouch. Music's like, "That's weird, right?"