MONDO EXTRAS

Steve, alone, sticks his head out the skylight of his attic room. The attic room is where he does dorky things. And, I guess, God-related things now. He opens up a browser and searches for "the_second_coming." Underscores are the Boolean symbol for "computers are beyond me."

Next morning, Steve's on a hideous purple and pink mattress. How deeply depressing. I'd go nuts too. Actually, I've been sleeping on the couch since I moved into this apartment, and I'm like this close, so there you go. As if it wasn't depressing enough, there's a Doves poster on the wall. There's a Smiths poster on the trapdoor...Wait. Yep, the Doves are from Manchester. Got it. Steve checks his email, and it starts receiving. 157 emails. "Yes!" See, right there I lose the connection, because I get that many emails from whackjobs every single day, and here he is soliciting them.

Jude's doorbell rings, and outside is Pete, whom we haven't really dealt with yet. He's cool. He's got Steve in tow, who's all ADD about something and Jude has to come right now. Pete gives her this look like, "My whole day has been like this," and makes the screw-loose sign. She goes to grab her jacket, because we've all got a Steve Baxter.

At the Maine Road Stadium, beloved by its constituents, there are hosts of people walking and singing Jesus songs. Pete and Steve and Jude walk along with the crowd. "This was you?" asks Jude. Yeah. "This lot have been waiting for years." That's the sad thing at the center of it all, isn't it? Waiting. Pete's like, "You couldn't just look at porn like everyone else?" The stadium gates are open, in the middle of the night. Jude gets scared. "You can drop this and go home with me right now," she tells Steve. She's concerned, because they'll go anywhere, for "any old lunatic." She keeps saying this one thing that has me totally on her side, every time she says it: "They will end up with nothing." It's that atheist pedestal about how sad when people believe things. At most that's half the story, but you can't explain the rest to anybody. "Did you get home all right?" Steve asks, and Jude looks at him funny. "Why?" He nods. "Because they'll be looking for you. You've seen them, haven't you?" She's not having that conversation, because she's 80% in denial about the whole stalked-by-the-Devil thing (the other 20% is denial about Steve), so she takes off. Steve and Pete enter the stadium: police everywhere, wild-eyed people in the night. They all flood in together; Steve sees Dillane off in the back of the crowd, and Steve and Dillane look at each other.