Doctor Who
The Second Coming, Part I

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Reach Out And Touch Crazy

Jude and Fiona discuss how there are only four days left. "Who's writing the Testament?" "They'll have so much power," Jude worries. Fiona's started writing, and cautions Jude that she should be writing again. Peter and Dave are there; everybody talks over everybody else. It's a microcosm, son. "That's what the law is, that's what common sense is..." "People are scared, we're heading toward fundamentalism..." "You've never even read the New Testament!" But, Jude maintains, it hasn't worked. David admits that he always thought Pete was Muslim, and Peter says that his mother was Christian: "I never said, because you'd take the piss." Jude tries to bottom-line it: "This is Steve. Even if the Son of God does exist: five billion people on Earth, and it's Steve?" They protest that this is the point, but she can't get over it: "It's just Steve! Stupid, ordinary Steve."

Who is watching TV, as Johnny Tyler calls in to the program. "Steven Baxter is the real deal...It's easy to believe, nobody believes anything these days -- and that's why we need Baxter. The Nazerene came two thousand years ago, and we abandoned him. Now it's all started again, now we can be prepared." Prepared for what, asks the presenter. "The war," Johnny grins, at home. Steve turns off the TV and pulls out the stolen phone. Down at the pub in their old neighborhood, the bartender is trying to serve everybody, tossing bags of chips to the customers. He answers the phone: "It's me, Steve. I need a favor." The bartender smiles and says he can help as soon as he pays off his 19 pound tab. They laugh. Steve breaks out through his bedroom window; the cops watch him on security cameras, and Bad Cop again cautions Good Cop Chadwick to let him go.

Steve rides to the neighborhood in the back of a cargo truck, pulling the door open when it stops, and walking down the road. A woman stares at him through a window, an unhappy man glares daggers, a man yells that he's a liar as a family waves and smiles from their living room. Steve knocks upon the door of the pub, which has been closed, and inside finds the entire cast, assembled. The blond hooligan-looking fella from before rips off his sweater to reveal a big pink triangle and has a go at Steve about how Jesus opted out of talking about homosexuality, so what does Steve say? "It's fine with me...but I'm not writing it." The man nods: "I am." This scene is funny, like they said, "Russell, where is the gay stuff? You always have gay stuff, and this is about religion, so like..." And Davies went, "Fuck! I forgot completely!" And then just plopped this kid into the middle of it to scream, "I'm gay! What's up!" and Steve could be like, "No problem. Jesus 2.0 loves the gays. But also the gays are not Jesus's problem right now." Which is pretty much, again, the point of the whole movie: please deal with yourself. As, like, a favor to God. Your issues are not the only issues. But I also love it, because if I said "Russell Davies" and "Second Coming of Christ" to you in the same sentence, you'd pretty much think buggery first thing, wouldn't you? You can admit it, it's okay. Steve orders a beer. Seriously!

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Doctor Who




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