Johnny spills his beer waving, very enthused, and Jude's already disappointed by his looks. They sit, and he's like, "I know the drill, one drink and you're off," and she's like, "Says who?" She does admit that he's changed a bit since he filmed his video for the dating service. He says he's gained weight, yeah, and they keep bugging him to change it. (The script is funny because his weight fluctuations come up all the time, but of course they aren't real: it's all accomplished through the science of haircuts!) Jude says that she's no Kate Moss, and he calls her daft. (She proves her point later by resisting the charms of Pete Doherty, even though he's vomiting on her while shooting her up with a combination of laundry detergent and his own urine.) "You're gorgeous!" Johnny enthuses. "Divorced?" Johnny says that the ex must be an idiot, and Jude smiles a tiny bit: "I think he is, yeah." Johnny tries to angle her in for after the first drink, so sweetly, and her cell goes off. "Sorry, should have turned it off," she says. She answers, graciously saying right away that she's busy, and Johnny hits the breath spray, already kind of expecting her to take off. He smiles, brave front. You could just smack him. "What the hell's he doing there?" she harshes out, as Johnny watches, so ready for the pain that he's going to supply it himself. "Emergency?" he nods, and she begs off. "Friend's in hospital! Gotta go!" She sees the disbelief, edging on bitterness, and feels bad about it: "Not making it up!" Jude begs Johnny to remember how that man disappeared six weeks ago, driving her to date strange possessed men, and how it was on the news. "Nice to meet you, bye," says Johnny. The snake underneath it. Jude apologizes and takes off, worried for Steve, and we focus in on Johnny's lovely smile. "BITCH!" he shouts, as she makes for the door, and when she turns, he raises a beer and smiles. Ouch. Music's like, "That's weird, right?"
I don't know if Johnny's violent charisma is specific to me or what, but I do know he's a good counterbalance to Steve, for Jude as a character. It makes sense, the way he draws her in. Jude's still on the phone with obnoxious Fiona, who's explaining at her horrible home with her stupid kids about how they found him, "middle of the bloody moors." Dave comes in, clearly up to some kind of white van bullshit beer-drinking bad husbandry, and she tells him too: "Here's the best bit: he's lost it completely. He's only saying he's the Son of God!" She confirms that she got this info from Frank himself. "Shows a bit of initiative anyway, for a man who's never been further than a chip shop." As Fionas must, she goes through Dave's jacket pocket, and finds a mysterious matchbook. I like it, because they never come out and say or point to Dave's extracurriculars, but they're totally important and you have to just know it. I want to cheat on Fiona and I'm not even married to her; she's like Jessica on Laguna Beach in that and many other ways. "Judy, what are you like?" Fiona asks, having ascertained that Jude is going to drive to Leeds. Jude: "It's a bit far..." She starts to cry. That anger, when people break like that. Like, you can't be mad at them, because they're nuts, so what do you do? Just get mad intransitively. "You soft thing!" says Fiona. "I told you he'd be all right." Jude's like, "Yeah, the bastard. He's alive." Fiona corrects her: "Alive and mad." Jude sniffs and laughs: "No change there, then." They laugh, because what do you do?