The Book Of Judas
Bottle of Prozac. Hands crushing pills of varying sizes. Tea cups. Hands shaking powder into the tea. How bad's this going to get?
Jude on her mobile in the cop car with Simon, dialing frantically. No answer. She slaps him with the phone, and he smiles cutely. "Faster!" she shouts, and he smirks. "What's the rush?" Watch Jude in free-Fall.
Fiona stares at her phone ringing, readying the tea tray with sandwiches and sad little jelly glasses. She ignores it resolutely. The television's on. Sounds like a kid's show. Fuck this.
Jude arrives at a street corner, jumps out to sound of Simon shouting humorously, "RUUUUUUUUUUUUN!" She does.
A gold cross, swinging back and forth between Fiona's breasts as she crushes the tablets. This shit just stopped being funny. I'm not Augusten Burroughs and you don't need to know my business but I will say there's no story I want to hear less. Fucking Beloved.
Judy runs across the weeds and heath and ugly Manchester. No matter how fast she runs, it's like she's barely moving. It's a nightmare.
Fiona brings in the tea, her little boy jumps for it. I don't want to talk about this. "Not yet," she says to him, telling the little girl to turn off the TV.
And Jude runs.
Fiona puts her arms around her children. "We're going to say a little prayer, all of us together," she says with a smile. A smile with something in it, a broken heart, the crack goes down so black. What's that Dickinson? "Zero at the bone."
Fiona's voice is breaking. Jude runs. "Our Father, Who are in Heaven." The children shut their eyes up tight. "Hallowed be Thy name." And Judy runs. "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." She reaches their street, curves around a corner. "Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses...." Jude pounds upon the door. "...As we forgive those who trespass against us." She throws fists at the glass. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Jude screams into the mail slot, her voice going ragged, falling in and out. It's a nightmare. "For Thine is the Kingdom, and the power, and the glory." Jude comes around the house to the parlor window, sees Fiona kneeling at the coffee table, children either side, their eyes still screwed tight. "...For ever and ever." She pounds on the glass, Fiona flicks a look her way. There's an empty spot where the "Amen" goes. There's no "amen." I wasn't raised Christian, but I think if anything it's more glaring if you were. "Fiona!" Jude screams, and Fiona looks at the table, looks at death on a tea tray. Things get very slow and very...all you hear is Jude pounding on the parlor glass, as Fiona weeps. And she pushes the tray to the floor; and all you hear is the crash of glass. No tea today.