Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 2 USERS: A+
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Honeymoon In Venice

Rory and the Doctor have that same fight again, and is she in terrible danger or what, and Rory brings up the kissing, and the Doctor's like, "Now? You want to do this now?" Rory points out, cleverly, that he's "getting married in 430 years" and thus has a right to know. Sometimes that joke doesn't work, but this time it did. The Doctor explains about the Angels and that, and how it was the scariest episode for Amy personally ever, and then they were no longer in danger. Okay, but what Rory wants to know is did he kiss her back. "No. I kissed her mouth." NICE. Rory is not as impressed by that as anybody else would be, but he has a right to be unimpressed. The Doctor says that in any normal circumstance it would have been Rory she kissed, because he belongs in her life, and thus: Venice 1580. "Can we go and see the vampires now, please?"

Amy's not doing so hot. Rosanna was not actually confused by the psychic paper that they used to get her into the school, because she's totally awesome. So yeah, she's not really having Amy's shit. Instead, she would like to tie her to a chair and do creepy magic stuff to her without giving her the option of sneaking around the place. This is happening while Rory and the Doctor do a lot of getting into the House and comparing the sizes of their portable ultraviolet things, one of which looks like a fluorescent tube and the other of which is a tiny little thimble of a thing. Guess whose is whose? Yeah. Dick jokes!

Rosanna asks Amy whether she fell "through the Chasm," which means these rapefish are Crack-related, which is exciting. "I need to know what this girl is doing, in a world of savages, with psychic paper!" Frenchy is not interested, he just wants to eat her or do whatever creepy things, but Amy is in Tank Girl mode and being a smartass about everything, which is probably the way to go. I mean, Rosanna is awesome, one of my favorite bad guys ever on this show, but you can really throw her game by acting like she's not the queen of the world. "Tease me as if I were your dog? Well, this dog has a bite, girl." Sounds totally scary and shouty, but she tosses off the line in this adorably flighty, funny way like they're at a dinner party. Then the teeth come out, though.

Rory's worried about the wedding or something, and they find a bunch of drained-dry bodies. It's not about blood, it's about water. These vampires just keep getting less and less cool. Frenchy asks Mommy if they can "share" Amy, and it's exactly as flesh-crawling as you think. As much as I love Rosanna, that's how much I hate his ass. He is like getting touched in your bathing suit area. Downstairs, Rory and the Doctor are spitballin' some theories about what is overall going on, and randomly Rory gets his Clive on: "You know what's dangerous about you? It's not that you make people take risks. It's that you make them want to impress you." (Love that.) "You make it so they don't want to let you down. You have no idea how dangerous you make people to themselves when you're around." I like this speech but the face Rory is making, not so much. He just looks petulant and whiny and British, instead of like proud and thoughtful like his words. His nose is not the worst thing about his face, and he's getting better looking, but the hair! And this isn't even as bad as it's going to get!

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