Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Honeymoon In Venice

Veelas show up and chase the boys around downstairs while Rosanna gets awesome in Amy's face: "This is how it works. First, we drink you until you're dry. Then we fill you with our blood. It rages through you like a fire, changing you, until one morning you awake and your humanity is a dream, now faded." Francesco swishes around the room about how maybe she will die. But if she doesn't die? Raped by ten thousand fish. "Yeah, sorry. I'm kind of engaged." Amy kicks Rosanna's fannypack, which it turns out is some kind of image inducer, and for a second she looks like a giant CGI vampire fish, then pulls it together. She looks totally offended, like, "How could you kick my fannypack?"

Then they hear a commotion, and leave Amy tied to the chair so they can go stand in this hallway and chat with the Doctor. He goes, "Cab for Amy Pond?" Which is adorable. Isabella appears out of nowhere and cuts Amy loose, Amy with a big old vamp bite on her neck, and the Doctor ultraviolets the Veelas so they can get out of there. They run through lots of corridors and hallways and things and keep shining the UV whenever the people get close, and then the Doctor and Amy giggle all about how they're aliens, not vampires, and how awesome is that, and Rory's like, "That's good news? What is wrong with you people?" Cue more giggling. Is this why people hated Rose so much? I never understood that.

Anyway, down at the dock outside Isabella's dad is for some reason wearing one of the t-shirts from Rory's stag. It's a sight gag, I don't get it, but there it is. It's funny to look at but I feel like I missed something as to why he is wearing it. They get out of there with Isabella, but she gets burnt by the sunlight and hisses and cringes just long enough to get pulled back in there. Then the door electrocutes him with purple science, for some reason. He falls down dead. Just kidding, he's fine. Amy turns her worry to Dad, who just kind of wasted his entire day.

"And so in memory of the children lost to the Silence, the traitor is delivered to the arms of those she betrayed." They toss Isabella in the canal and she gets raped/eaten. Rosanna leads the Veelas and Frenchy down to the water, and he reminds her that she better turn off her fannypack or else her sons will rape/eat her, or something. They share a sweet incesty moment, and then she heads inside, where the Doctor is sitting in her ridiculous gold throne. He has figured a bunch of stuff out.

"Long way from Saturnyne, aren't you? Sister of the Water?" She mentions the refugee thing again, and they do this beautiful courtly "question for a question" thing that is all about the acting. The stuff they actually talk about is science fictiony factoids about their race of raping fish people -- how does the fannypack illusion machine work, what are vampires really all about -- stuff you probably care about but I forget it while they're saying it, because it's all pretend anyway. Like, I love in theory the idea of a book all about the Enterprise D and where the bathrooms are, but you look at a blueprint or two and then it's like, "What am I even doing right now?"

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Doctor Who

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