A hooded figure brings Dorium back to the tomb. Dorium, even without seeing his face, knows it's the Doctor. "How did you escape?" he asks. Flashbacks fill in some of the gaping holes for us: The Doctor didn't really leave after the captain of the Tesselecta offered his help. And he didn't really whisper his name to River, but asked her to look into his eye, where his tiny miniaturized self was waving to her. In the tomb, he sheds the robe with a flourish. He wore the Tesselecta to his date with death. "Barely got singed in that boat," he says. The Doctor promises it's "time to step back into the shadows" after all his big, noisy adventures. Let the universe forget him for a while. Say, until Christmas. Dorium warns him that his fall at Trenzalore is still coming, but the Doctor seems none too worried. That's for a future season, for some poor writer to figure out at the last moment. Dorium also reminds him of that damned question, the one that can never be answered. "The question you've been running from all your life: Doctor who?" The Doctor gives the camera an enigmatic smile that takes us into the closing credits. His name must be a terrible secret, indeed. Like he's secretly a Kardashian and the universe will simply lose the will to exist after finding out.

So there we are. Much too much exposition. If you've set up your story properly from the beginning, you should need to talk about it so much at the end. But it was a fun spectacle, mostly, and without a TARDIS of my own I just don't have the time to properly dislike it.

Tippi Blevins is a recapper traveling slowly forward in time. Email her at b_tippi@yahoo.com, or find her on Twitter.