Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1949 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
People Are Places

"You lot in orbit yet? Yeah, I saw it land. I'm at the crash site. Try and hone in on my signal..." She calls to the Doctor for a sonic assist, the better to call them down. "Ooh, Doctor! You sonicked her!" giggles Amy, still entranced by this idea of man and God somehow touching; explicitly sexualizing what has always been implicit. Waiting for her fellows, River takes out her diary -- which is both TARDIS and a Journal of Impossible Things -- and asks if they've done the Bone Meadows yet. The Doctor tells Amy to stay the fuck away from the book, "her" diary, and River grins: "Our diary." I think this is when Amy figures out who they are, what they are to each other. "Her past, my future... Time travel."

Father Octavian, Bishop Second Class, touches down with a squad of twenty clerics. Hallelujah! The only thing, the only version of men I love more than soldiers, is priests, which is why I love the Sontarans just a little more than the Daleks, who are both. It's not a fetish thing, it's the opposite of a fetish thing (more likely a Triple Aries-Double Libra-Capricorn Rising thing, not that I believe in that shit), but I'll ask you: Who doesn't love a nun with a gun?

Octavian was promised, if not an army, the equivalent of an army, which is the Doctor. He is immediately impressed to meet him; Octavian's eyes light up when he sees him for what he is. Apparently River's been helping the Church with a "covert investigation" into the Weeping Angels. They need essentially to get onto the Byzantium and neutralize its Angel. They can't climb in from above, because of the warp drive issue, so they have to go through the huge cliffside Temple it landed in and on. The catacombs are still burning.

Inside, Octavian keeps calling him "sir" and he keeps not noticing: "Catacombs, probably dark ones. Dark catacombs, great." Apparently, they are specifically called the Maze of the Dead, which sounds just cheery enough that it puts the Doctor's teeth on edge. Amy notices the "sir" thing, and I guess because she watches this show somehow knows that he never lets them do that, which is a clunky way of reminding us that he never lets them do that. "So whatever a Weeping Angel is, it's really bad, yeah?" He notices she's still there, and gets pissy with her about it. "Ooh, are you all Mr. Grumpy Face today?" Sometimes flippant is the way to play it, but I'd love it if Amy had any other tool in her toolbox.

Doctor Who

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