Doctor Who
Tooth And Claw

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Breaking Of Albion

The Doctor removes his glasses and immediately his speechifying and "It's A Fact!" Girl deal get irritating again. So weird how that works: "Now, there's a fact -- Prince Albert kept on having the Koh-I-Noor cut down. It used to be forty percent bigger than this. But he was never happy. Kept on cutting and cutting." (The diamond is the Doctor.) Victoria nods and gazes on the Koh-I-Noor: "He always said the shine was...not quite right. But he died with it still unfinished." (The diamond is the Doctor.) The Doctor clicks: "Unfinished...oh, yes!" He tosses it back into the Queen's hands and figures everything out really super-fast. It's not awesome to watch him do this, if you've seen the episode, and probably you have, but if you haven't, here's the speech: "There's a lot of unfinished business in this house. His father's research -- your husband, Ma'am, he came here and he sought the perfect diamond -- hold on, hold on -- all these separate things, they're not separate at all, they're connected! Oh, my head, my head! What if -- this house, it's a trap for you, is that right, Ma'am? At least, that's what the Wolf intended. But! What if there's a trap inside the trap? What if his father and your husband weren't just telling each other stories? They dared to imagine all this was true, and they planned against it. Laying the real trap not for you, but for the Wolf." Now, Tennant is a fabulous actor and a good guy, from what I can tell. But this is not a speech that anyone can say, talented or not, and not come off a dillweed. Try it right now -- are you alone? -- say those words out loud and pretend that you're actually just figuring this out. At the risk of Wing making fun of me again: half the words, twice the awesome. ["I kid because I love." -- Wing Chun]

Luckily -- and at this point the episode's running kind of long, so you're kind of relieved that the Doctor just figured everything out so that now he can fix it and we can be done for the week -- plaster starts falling, and they look up, and the Wolf is up above their heads. "That Wolf there..." the Doctor says, as the glass of the dome over their heads that we may or may not have seen before, I can't remember, starts to crack. Everybody throws books and scuffles about and they run from the library just as the Wolf is crashing down and smashing the desk in the library. I swear, this is, like, the fifteenth Buffy reference this week. Not on purpose, not a "reference" reference, just: if you love something, it's like asparagus, and you start to smell like it. I love lots of things and I smell like all of them, and so too does RTD. You can't block every single idea you have just because it smells like asparagus, and you can't be expected to trace every line back to the point of origin, or there would just be one story, and it would be boring, and Shakespeare wouldn't exist. Or Tennyson. (Or this site, dude, but I'll continue to point them out nonetheless.)

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