Doctor Who
Tooth And Claw

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 2 USERS: A+
The Breaking Of Albion

Reynolds calls out that a "Sir Robert MacLeish" lives ten miles away, and he suggests that they stay there and then head out for Balmoral in the morning. Victoria presumes that the Doctor and "his timorous beastie" will accompany them. Reynolds isn't entirely pleased, because all of a sudden this "protector" shows up? After all his bragging back at home and thinking he was the last great hope of England's monarch? But whatever. He tells them all to head out: "It's almost nightfall." And the Queen nods, "Indeed. And there are stories of wolves in these parts. Fanciful tales intended to scare the children. But good for the blood, I think." Fanciful stories, a world of strangeness: she doesn't believe, but it's good for the blood; it's not her world but it's good as love.

Rose grins at the Doctor, and they walk behind the carriage. "It's funny, though, because you say 'assassination' and you just think of Kennedy and stuff, not her." The Doctor exposits the interesting historical fact that, by 1879, the Queen's murder has been attempted six times. But: "I'll tell you something else. We just met Queen Victoria!" They are very excited and pants around about how fun it is to be in the TARDIS and whatever, and it's like last week with how gay it is. Maybe more. "She was just sitting there!" shouts Rose, and the Doctor smiles: "Like a stamp." Rose utters her wish for Victoria to say, "We are not amused," all hardcore, and they agree to bet that Rose will make this happen. The Doctor at first protests that this bet would be "an abuse of my privileges of traveler in time," but eventually they agree on an amount. He keeps forgetting that he's not human.

The carriage pulls into Sir Robert's house, where he watches from upstairs and is uneasy. "I can't do this," he protests. "It's treason!" Fr. Angelo is standing behind him, and threatens Robert's wife Isobel if he doesn't go along with the plan: "And believe me, Sir Robert: she will be devoured." Sir Robert has some sad feelings about rocks and hard places; Fr. Angelo continues to have crazy feelings, because he is in a cult.

One of the footmen helps Queen Victoria down; Sir Robert and Fr. Angelo greet them. The Queen asks after Lady Isobel, and Robert says that she's all tied up! No, he says she's gone to Edinburgh for the season, and taken the cook with her. So unless Victoria wants life to suck, maybe she should shove off. The Doctor looks at them, wondering why Sir Robert would want the Queen to go away. Victoria cheerfully tells him that's not happening: "Oh, not at all! I've had quite enough carriage exercise. And this is charming, if rustic. It's my first visit to this house. My late husband spoke of it often: the Torchwood Estate. Now, shall we go inside?" As in all things not from Tennyson, her husband's blessing on this house means that it is a connection back to him. Sir Robert is reluctant, but the Queen does not notice -- or if she does, she's good at hiding it. Just like everything else. "...And please excuse the naked girl." (The nudity joke, though it makes light of a couple centuries of hatred that still impact all of our lives in the most hideous ways, doesn't suffer from the attrition of the "amused" joke: Rose is a timorous beastie and her nakedness has always been a factor. I like this season so much for that, among others: Rose is still a kid, but now so is the Doctor, and they act like assholes the whole time to prove it.) "She's a feral child," says the Doctor. Like she was raised by wolves. "I bought her for sixpence in old London Town. It's was her or the Elephant Man, so..." Rose cocks an eye at the Queen: "Thinks he's funny but I'm so not amused. What do you think, Ma'am?" Victoria blows her off that it hardly matters what she thinks, and they all head into the house. "So close," grumps Rose quietly. Reynolds sends some soldiers in with something called "the property" -- a small wooden box -- and they carry it carefully. When the Doctor asks what's inside, he gets a face full of Reynolds: "Property of the Crown. You will dismiss any further thoughts, sir." The Doctor and Rose make faces at each other, enjoying the intrigue, and Reynolds orders everybody around. The Doctor and Rose proceed into Torchwood...

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