Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 6 USERS: A

"Observe, Doctor, a new Dalek paradigm! The Progenitor has fulfilled our new destiny. Behold! The restoration of the Daleks! The resurrection of the master race!"

(Again: Not here, not now. Tacky. It was tacky when the Master said it, just because it was a pun beneath us all, but most especially retarded and tacky here, because... What? It means nothing. The best you can get out of this parallel is that Dalek = Nazi, which has always been the case, is not an argument that needs making, and has been constructed in such a way that it actually violates Godwin's: "No wonder the Doctor's so steamed! That whole scenery-chewing Tennant-level meltdown makes total sense and wasn't just empty drama to give the illusion of story! Because you know who wouldn't yell at them and priss about like that? HITLER!")

So while they're doing this shit, the Progenitor has been working hard to create shiny new beautiful Daleks, candy-colored as only a laptop right off the presses could be. They roll out one by one: A shining White Dalek named Tommy. A shining Blue Dalek named Billy! (My favorite Mighty Morphin' Power Dalek!) A shining Yellow, Orange and Red Dalek! Trini, Kat and Rocky! That sound you just heard is two billion previous Dalek toys going in the trash, even Black Dalek Sec, as the NEW PARADIGM crashes down around us all.

Because the world ending all around them isn't annoying enough, Bracewell has decided to kill himself. Luckily, Churchill and Amy come running down there into his lab, thanks to her out-of-the-blue decision-making a second ago. "My life is a lie, and I choose to end it," he says, with the free-floating gravitas you've got to employ when your character is a cardboard cutout of a human being who hasn't even vomited up his precious, wet backstory for us yet.

Amy tells him to cut it the fuck out and help them, so he whines at length about how A) He made the Daleks, B) His life is, aforementioned, a lie, and C) He has all these memories about this and that, how he was in the war and loved a lassie and gas gas quick boys an ecstasy of fumbling and a bunch of the usual substandard Wilfred Owen shit we toss around when we need backstory in a hurry. Have you seen "Human Nature/Family Of Blood"? Hope so, because you have to do this one yourself and it might give you some pointers, just like "Empty Child/Doctor Dances" gives you the necessary information -- the proper Spirit of the Blitz emotional state, Nancy and her brother/son, the Mouse that Roared, the things that make us great, the healing of Albion, all that bullshit we don't apparently need to experience this time round -- for the episode itself.

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Doctor Who




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