Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C | 6 USERS: A

The Doctor takes out Bracewell's alien tech, and Churchill whines about not being able to use the space-planes because that's all he cares about, literally spouting earlier dialogue verbatim -- "Those Spitfires would win me the war in 24 hours!" -- and there's a smug little tutorial from the Doctor about how Winston's not allowed to win the war just yet because history is history and it's all very important and why would anybody want to end WWII early, and yet another in a long line of condescending, pointless pep talks -- "Winston... It's gonna be tough. There are terrible days to come. The darkest days. But you can do it. You know you can! The world doesn't need me, the world's got Winston Spencer Churchill!" -- and yeah, it's been a right pleasure.

Churchill steals the TARDIS key and scrappy trashy old Amy yells and gets it back and Harkonnen woggles at her -- "Sharp as a pin! Almost as sharp as me!" -- making a tragically condescending situation all the more unpleasant, and then somebody yells "KBO!" one more time because gay sex is hilarious, and then we go talk to Bracewell about how he assumes that the Doctor is going to kill him, due to him being a dangerous stupid robot, but the Doctor and Amy do an unending routine about how they'll be back to get him in ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty minutes, and he doesn't get it because it's too dumb to get, and finally they're like, "GO PRETEND TO BE A HUMAN BEING BECAUSE YOU ARE INHABITING THE FLESH OF A DEAD MAN GO SO FUCK DORABELLA IN THE GUISE OF SOMEONE ELSE," hahaha, so romantic and so idiotic, and seriously that's as bad as it's going to get for awhile. I promise you.

Amy's like, "We all have enemies, yes, but mine's the woman outside Budgens with the mental Jack Russell. You've got, like, you know, arch-enemies." So she thought it would be all "running through time, being daft and fixing stuff," but apparently there's danger. Unlike last week, when there were fifty fucking things flying at her face including monks and tentacles and vomit and creepy robot-dolls and memory wipes and genocide and Room 101 and the life-threatening dorkiness of Liz 10. Or the week before that, when she literally prayed the Doctor into existence because she was alone and terrified throughout her entire life and got all tied up with a monster that lived in her house that she didn't even know about that crawled around in the bodies of coma patients and eventually incurred the wrath of giant flying eyeballs, no. Now it's for real.

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Doctor Who




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