Doctor Who
Doctor Who

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: A- | 1600 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
And Baby Makes Four

In the comm room, Vastra and her trusty maid whip out their own swords and hold the two soldiers at bay. "Go on, resist," invites Vastra. "I'm ever so hungry." Jack the Ripper just doesn't stick to the ribs. Jenny to one of the soldiers: "Now, dear, which button controls the lights?" If these two don't get a spin-off or at least show up for more episodes, I will be ever so angry. These two facing down the Papal Mainframe! It has to happen.

Meanwhile, Manton is trying to regain control of the situation down on the hangar floor. "Doctor, you will come with me right now," he says, gun trained on the Doctor. The Doctor just smiles down the barrel of the gun, says "three minutes and forty seconds" and then shouts for Amelia Pond. The lights go out. When they come back up a few moments later, the Doctor has vanished. "I'm not a phantom," his voice says. "I'm not a trickster." Everyone looks around, freaking out, pointing their guns aimlessly. "I'm a monk," says the Doctor. Manton demands the Doctor show himself because he's either very optimistic or fairly dumb. "It's him!" shouts the Thin One. Someone shoots and a Monk goes down. Manton shouts for order, but it's useless. A Monk raises his hand and blasts a soldier with red lighting. Manton wails. His pep rally is ruined! A fight between the Monks and the soldiers breaks out. Kovarian and her guards get out while the getting's good.

In the control room, Jenny watches the festivities via monitor. "Clever, isn't he?" she asks. "And rather attractive," says her mistress. "You do realize he's a man, don't you, ma'am?" Jenny asks. Her mistress scoffs that all mammals look alike to her. (Except when she notices one is particularly attractive, I guess.) Jenny is a bit hurt and indignant, what with being a mammal herself. Vastra apologizes for being insensitive. "I don't know why you put up with me," she coos. Without missing a beat, she darts her tongue like a bullwhip and lashes one of their captive soldiers as he tries to escape. He slumps to the floor. Jenny gives her mistress a long, appreciative look. Well, that's one reason she puts up with her... one reason that becomes multiple, powerful reasons.

Out on the floor, Lorna notices that the Doctor -- still in his Monk guise -- is using his sonic screwdriver on a locked door. She glances around to see if anyone has seen him, but everyone else seems busy trying to kill or be killed. When the Doctor gets through the door, Lorna slips away from the group and follows him. In a show of good faith to the Monks, Manton lays down his weapon and instructs the troops to do likewise. "The Doctor is trying to make fools of us," he says. "We are soldiers of God; we are not fools." One by one, the soldiers drop their guns, joining in the chant. "We are not fools... we are not fools." Eventually, the Monks lower their swords.

Doctor Who

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