"Ask Mandy, 'Why are people scared of the things in the booths?'" The Doctor explains, and Amy wigs because she's still in her nightie. "It's this or Leadworth," he says, to foreshadow some nasty bullshit he'll play for no reason later."What do you think? Let's see. What will Amy Pond choose?" It's a total mystery; he's so dumb on the page that he's actually willing to pretend to be unwillingly surprisingly compassionate, in this moment. Like he would have loved her, at this age or as Amelia, if she were the kind of person that wouldn't go on this adventure. He runs off to do more gay shit with waterglasses, and leaves her to it. Hopefully this Mandy will also act like a character in a ridiculously unrealistic storybook, even though she's as young as Amelia who acted her age, and Amy will get to interface with that instead of having a real situation.

"So is this how it works, Doctor? You never interfere in the affairs of other peoples or planets, unless there's children crying?" Um, yes. If the script is retarded and makes no sense, and is just a succession of opportunities for you to be a bad-ass as narrowly defined by the "all bad-asses are one bad-ass" rule of non-storytelling, you'll be fine. And because you are gorgeous, talented, intelligent people who are capable of playing the Doctor and Amy Pond respectively, you will do fucking brilliantly and powerfully no matter what bullshit the script of the week throws at you.

Never think I stopped loving these two, and all the other actors: They're just doing an amazing job with what they've been handed, and that is a bummer. There could be thirteen hour-long experiences of beauty, for these beautiful brilliant people, and instead they're just... Doing their jobs. Really, really well. So if I were a fan of the show, I could hold onto that, because they are fantastic, no matter how much I bitch and moan. They sell this shit better than I ever could, and I love them.

I thought I was done, falling in love, when I met Donna. I really did. "Rose was my wonderful beloved, and Martha was the person I wish to be, but Donna. Oh, Donna. I fell in love with her immediately, and never stopped. She'd step out onto some ridiculous planet and I'd weep anyhow, because I loved her so much I couldn't wait to see her deal with the Ood (that's the one, right) or Agatha Christie or whatever. Loved her, body and soul." And all that. But after a year of Tennant fuckin' about, I realized I was ready to fall in love again.