Meet Jane Doe

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
A Slap In The Face
they put the food away, we learn that Echo gave the aforementioned girl the stomach virus, and Ballard chastises her for not telling her she was going to make her move this week. Oh, Ballard, it's so cute the way you think you matter. We can infer that Echo is hell-bent on getting Galena out of there because she's the reason she got arrested in the first place, and I prefer the "clean up your own mess" angle to some random act of heroism. After Echo makes a joke, referring to her multiple imprints, about being a "people person," Ballard lightly notes that Echo bought macaroni and cheese for dinner, and while I don't see the problem generally I'll admit it's probably not the most friendly food for keeping his abs in their current shape. After Ballard TMIs about how he sees sex and food as "sisters in human desire," Echo takes it one step further with some information about her engagements that I won't be repeating, so let's move on to where Echo says she got the layout of the jail, and then they discuss the fact that she's having headaches, but she's recently used the personalities of Joel Mynor's dead wife Rebecca, who just happened to be a nurse, and the negotiator Eleanor Penn, who you'll remember spoke Spanish, both of which were easy. Accessing another imprint with which she used to case the prison, though, was apparently more difficult, as it was "borderline Rain Man -- doesn't play well with others." Sounds kind of like Ballard without the savant skills. Speaking of whom, he offers that they can take it easy that evening, but Echo says she wants to get physical, which of course brings Olivia Newton-John right into my head. Moving on from thoughts of horrific workout fashion, though, Echo notes that it's their last night in this place -- once they break Galena out, it's time to go back to the Dollhouse. Ballard is not so jazzed about that, but doesn't put up much of a fight...

...and then they're having a candlelit dinner. She's trying to explain what she feels when we see the disco ball on screen, but it makes no sense and it doesn't matter anyway, so let's move on to where Echo says Bennett gave her memories of Caroline, and she thinks she might not have been that great a person, like, if that's where they're going I heartily approve. Surprisingly, Ballard doesn't take the news that his precious Caroline might not have been all that great so badly, although he could just be humoring Echo here. She then tells him he's her best friend as she massages his arm in a way that suggests something else, but he removes her hand and suggests, "Let's keep it that way." You're not fooling anyone, guy, least of all the dude who's creepily snapping pictures outside at this very moment (SPOILER!). Echo, chastened, opines that he thinks she's a freak, or a child, but he says his problem is that he doesn't "have the right." Engaging that idea, she says it's not her other personas that are causing her feelings for him, and then she mentions that the Dollhouse made her "phenomenally creative in bed" and "at least seven times gay," which isn't as exotic as it sounds, given that it's how many female college students with inflated assessments of their own prowess would describe themselves. She says there's a real her, and takes his hand and places it on her face: "This is me." They hold that moment for a bit...

...and then Echo's removing her earrings as across the room, Ballard takes off his shirt, and there's a moment that I can hold thanks to the magic of DVR. Of course, we're supposed to think they're about to get into bed, but since the previews belied that, let's just move ahead to where they're training. It's hot and sweaty, and honestly if they've been doing this every night it's pretty damn impressive that they haven't boned. But no, later Echo is Rain Man-ing out a floor plan of the jail as Ballard shirtlessly watches. This is intercut with shots of them faking up some identification for Galena, I think, and then Ballard's lying on the couch looking like he's participating in the contest from Seinfeld, like, I'm not even heterosexual and this is still just cruel to watch.

Adelle knocks on Topher's door, and even though he can see her through the glass, he's hilariously like, "Who is it?" Adelle turns in exasperation and starts stalking off, also hilariously, but Topher opens up, so she comes in and gets his signature for an engagement order. They talk about some technological improvements before Keith Carradine enters to butter Topher up and rub in Adelle's serving-wench status, and when Keith Carradine invites him to a high-level meeting and not her, the look on her face is like, "I don't know which of you I'm going to kill first, but I'd suggest you both get your affairs in order." Of course, she might be getting more respect if she weren't wearing a version of the puffy shirt. (Two Seinfeld jokes is a coincidence, I swear. But seriously, look at those sleeves.)

Adelle comes in to Boyd and bitches about how Topher's shown his true colors, but Boyd isn't interested, as he's pretending he's talking to a random handler with whom he's annoyed while ascertaining when Ballard will be able to bring Echo in. Ballard is like, "Soon," as he watches Echo take a shower through a frosted curtain, like, if he's this much of a masochist I know a douchebag client who would just love to meet him.

When we return, Boyd keeps up the heated act until Adelle leaves him alone again, at which point he cautions Ballard that it may not be the best time to come in. Ballard, however, thinks the increasing frequency of Echo's headaches leaves them no choice, so Boyd tells him he'll wait for his signal and wishes him luck before disconnecting. When Echo gets out of the shower, she asks who was on the phone, and he tells her it was Boyd. "He's ready when we are."

In her cell, Galena theatrically takes the pill, and we cut to a short time later, when she collapses in the hallway and starts to seize. It's too bad the cast of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia wasn't around, because she could have achieved the same effect by playing a game of Flip Cup with them. The guard gets her into the infirmary, wherein Echo diagnoses her with an epidural hematoma while telling her not to say anything, like, I thought we established that the guards wouldn't understand her anyway, and besides, talking doesn't seem like it's high on her list of priorities at the moment. Echo then tells her she's going to give her a shot that will simulate death for four minutes, and her a shot that's going to simulate death for four minutes. I mean, I guess you have to let the audience in on the joke here, but that still felt awfully clumsy. Anyway, Galena flatlines, and after what looks like a fairly cursory and lame attempt to revive her, Echo calls the time of death over the hick sheriff's protests. After some boring blather about the abuse practices in the jail, Echo tells the sheriff that if she helps him make any potential scandal go away, he's got to promise it won't happen again, like, way to play hardball there. Also, though, she wants custody of the body so she can make sure it doesn't get dumped in a ditch somewhere, and since that is the second time someone's referenced ditches on the show I feel compelled to link to a little mini-rant by Sars on that subject that always cracks me up. Anyway, all this chatter has wasted more than an entire minute of the four that Echo has to play with, so she tells them the hospital-related machinations she has planned depend upon her getting the body over there while it's still warm, so they start moving. Unfortunately, all the security protocols take so much time that Galena wakes up, and from the fact that Echo immediately starts chatting with her like this is nothing out of the ordinar

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