Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | Grade It Now!
Needful Things
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Apparently late at night, Ballard answers a knock at his door dressed in pajama bottoms and nothing else. That's certainly a way to get my attention from the get-go. It's Echo in the hallway, dressed in a little number I would say is designed to pull in the part of the audience not already there with Ballard, and she pushes her way in and says she doesn't have a lot of time, as "they" can't know she left an engagement. Thinking this is Chapter Two in their series of surreptitious communications, Ballard kind of dimly asks if they're not fighting again, but Echo merely tells him she has a message for him from inside the Dollhouse. Ballard is over that noise, though, impatiently saying he's been sitting on his hands while his life has been dismantled, and grabbing Echo's forearms as he says he could handcuff her right now and bring the Dollhouse to his door. Dude, if that's how she's dressed for her current assignment, she might enjoy that. Oh, great, I made myself think of that bondage doofus. Well, I'll console myself with the thought that he's probably starved to death by now. Echo, whose lipstick is really garish at the moment, ties us into the episode theme by saying they each have something the other needs, and then attempts to make her mouth looks even worse by planting one on Ballard. Not that I blame her. Ballard kind of hilariously tells her, "I'm not a client. I don't need that." Echo, however, demurs, and after another kiss, Ballard uncertainly asks, "Caroline?" She whispers for him to save her, and soon he's on top of her on the couch -- only Mellie then appears and snits that she took too long getting back. Continuing to be unintentionally hysterical, Ballard tells her he knows this is confusing "for all of us," like I'm sure Mellie's mollified by the fact that the slut with the smeared lipstick is having an existential crisis while continuing to fondle her boyfriend. Getting funnier by the second, Ballard adds, "I'm sorry! I have a thing she needs!" and all I can say is that I certainly hope so. However, we get serious again in a hurry, as Mellie snarls that Caroline doesn't need anything anymore -- she's dead. Ballard pulls away from her lips in horror as he realizes that Echo's now covered in pancake makeup. He begs her to come back, but things only get worse as blood starts to trickle down from Mellie's scalp as she accuses Ballard of letting "them" hurt her. He desperately tries to tell her he's attempting to stop everything, but she asks, "How did they know? How did they know what we shared?" Honey, this is a man that spilled government secrets to you over a little pad thai. Keeping his mouth shut isn't exactly his forte. There's a flash of light...

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