Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 4 USERS: B+
Like Christmas In… December?
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Finally, the Victor-centric episode we've been waiting for! Glad they remembered to do this before the series ends.

We open with Adelle and Victor, and given the fact that she's down to a black bra and is on him like bangers on mash, her talk of "rogering" seems superfluous. I mean, I know Victor's imprint is named Roger, and as I said last week I'm almost always a big fan of puns, but you really don't want to risk killing the mood it this situation. And indeed, Victor calls an end to the proceedings, saying it would be "dishonorable" for him to continue, as he's fallen in love with another woman. Adelle (and her Season Two haircut that I hate so much, just to note that this isn't a flashback) sneers that that's "patently impossible," pronouncing "patent" with a long "a" in case she wasn't coming off British enough, but when Victor maintains a guilty silence, she asks where he met this woman -- jet-setting around the world? When he ignores her in favor of saying that it's like their love transcends even their very beings, it should be clear that he's talking about Sierra, but Adelle's too busy lamenting her lost Roger/roger to figure this out, and she tells him he's not even real -- he's a Doll whose contract is up, and she was just getting one last roll in the hay with him before that happens. "This time tomorrow, you're not going to exist anymore." Roger, of course, does not buy this, and unwittingly gets in a good one when he tells Adelle that he doesn't believe for a second "you'd ever stoop to the level of those pathetic souls who have to hire your programmable love Dolls to get what they need." His words shoot through her like an arrow, and she collapses into unprecedented tears. Good thing "Roger" won't be around to learn that Sierra is a Doll too, because I don't know if Adelle is in any shape to take what he'd say to her then.

Topher is showing Boyd a scan of Ballard's brain, and the upshot is that there's nothing there. Rather than figure out which of the many jokes that comes to mind gets the grand prize, I'll move on and say that Topher's point is that he can't do anything for him -- even if Ballard had Active architecture, his tabula is way too rasa to do anything for him. Boyd doesn't seem that shaken up by the fact that his potential buddy-cop movie partner will never fight by his side again as he merely tells Topher to get some rest, but that isn't happening just yet, for as soon as Boyd is gone, Adelle storms in and, thinking Topher fucked with her, asks about the "other woman" in Victor's imprint. Topher, of course, is clueless, but Adelle is so upset by her lost Roger/roger that she basically confesses to being Miss Lonelyhearts, prompting Topher hilariously to recount all the jokes he unwittingly made to her at "Miss Lonelyhearts"'s expense -- "octogenarian, walker jokes -- the thing about the early bird special!" It's funny enough by itself, but if you think about the "getting the worm" punchline that Topher no doubt added in there, the whole thing gets a HA! Topher says he didn't know, but Adelle barely allows herself to cringe before biting out, "If you didn't alter the imprint, I want to know who did." She stomps off, but Topher follows her into the chair room, wherein Ivy is just sending "Roger" down for his dirt-nap wipe, but not before she makes an offhand joke about the engagement ending early because Miss Lonelyhearts broke a hip, to which Topher hilariously makes an "ixnay" throat-cutting gesture and Adelle equally hilariously narrows her eyes. Hee. Topher chooses to accentuate the positive, pointing out that Ivy clearly was not behind any tampering, before checking the imprint and asserting that it's exactly the same as it's always been. Adelle asks where, then, the mystery woman came from, but the freshly-wiped Victor comes out of the chair with the answer: "Has anyone seen Sierra?"

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