Downton Abbey
Episode One

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 13 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Blame Canada

While sewing, Lady Cora tells Mary that she's sorry, but enough Levinson money has been poured into Downton already and why should Harold lose half his inheritance for their sakes? She's not wrong, but I'd have more sympathy for Harold without all the yacht talk; still, Lady Cora's point that they'd simply move to a smaller house instead of "going down the mine" is taken. Mary, however, tells Lady Cora that she's still an American and as such can't really understand, but Mary will be Countess of Grantham one day, "and in my book, the Countess of Grantham lives at Downton Abbey!" Lady Cora merely smiles at her, probably wondering what her old/dead ass will care at that point anyway.

Ethel returns to the building in front of which we saw her before and enters to find Isobel delivering a lecture about finding a place in the world to a woman who wouldn't care less even if she could hear the words over the sound of her own chewing. They should bring her to Downton to have an eating contest with Martha. When Isobel sees Ethel, she comes over with a smile and asks if she's looking to speak with her and Ethel tells "Mrs. Crawley" that she is. Isobel asks if she's come for their help, but Ethel makes to retreat like a skittish dog, at which point Isobel says she knows her -- although she doesn't pull her name, she remembers her as the maid who brought her child into the dining room at Downton. Ethel tells her this was a mistake and she's not ready to ask her yet. Just like that, she's gone again even as Isobel calls after her, "Ask me what?" You'll have to wait at least until next episode to find out, ma'am.

The fluid has apparently been drawn and Dr. Clarkson returns to the room with less-than-great news: There were traces of blood in it and while the levels weren't enough to conclusively indicate cancer, it couldn't be ruled out either, so he's got to send it away for analysis, which could take up to two months. Mrs. Patmore hilariously starts to bray about that, but cuts herself off at a look from Mrs. Hughes. Dr. Clarkson then instructs Mrs. Hughes to take it as easy as possible until then... maybe she could put her feet up here and there. This time, Mrs. Patmore can't restrain herself from replying "Chance'd be a fine thing," and given that this is pretty much what the phrase was coined for, you can hardly blame her. The ladies rise to go and Dr. Clarkson offers to say something to Lady Cora on Mrs. Hughes' behalf, but she tells him it's all right -- she'll do it herself if the need arises. I'm not sure that's true, but I doubt there will be any holding Mrs. Patmore's tongue for long.

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Downton Abbey

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