Downton Abbey
Episode Seven

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 14 USERS: B
Oy, Again With The Birth and the Death?

Back downstairs, the violinists start playing a new piece, at which point Rose excitedly rushes to grab Anna, as this is the song to which she taught her to dance. When Mary sees Anna reeling, she's delighted and impressed and tells Bates how marvelous she is. As romantic music swells, he agrees; find her as impressive as you want, Bates, but I would have preferred to keep listening to the Scottish strains.

Mrs. Patmore comes in with some tea for Mrs. Hughes and tells her she was right -- Tufton said he loves her. Mrs. Hughes is like, yeeeeeah, so Mrs. Patmore asks what's up, and after they take a seat, Mrs. Hughes details the list of grossness she saw from Tufton. Mrs. Patmore realizes that, as I said before, he was after her cooking... not that I think he wouldn't have had sex with her, too. He just wouldn't have been faithful in either domain. Mrs. Hughes tries to console her, but it turns out Mrs. Patmore is relieved, as the more he talked about how he likes his food, the more she wanted to get away. Mrs. Hughes can scarcely believe it and wonders what happens if he returns, but Mrs. Patmore retorts, "He'll get a thick ear and no mistake!" Man, I love these two together. Mrs. Patmore does wonder how he could lead a poor woman on like that, but Mrs. Hughes is ready, as she dryly quotes Tufton's disgusting earlier assertion that "[he loves] to be in love." After a pause of just the right length, they both bust out laughing, and they're not the only ones.

Gregson has apparently confessed to Edith the details of his conversation with Matthew and Edith deems Matthew's reaction "disappointing" before telling Gregson that regardless, she's going to keep seeing him. He's charmed and I'll say this for him: He doesn't dither about like a certain elder statesman I could mention. Molesley then starts dancing around like a drunken fool and I'm sure we can just skip past that, except for the part where O'Brien asks Wilkins if she's proud of her handiwork before thanking her. Wilkins wonders what for, and people should really know not to ask such a question of someone who's so likely to produce a humdinger of an answer, to wit: "Because I need never be held back by any sense of loyalty to you." With that, she heads over to talk to Susan, but we don't find out the result...

...which as just as well, because there are FAR more important things happening at Downton or at least for those of us for whom Branson finally taking his shirt off is important news. He's startled when Edna comes in to report that Thomas is feeling much better and although he tells her she should go, he stares at her like he's hypnotized as she slides forward and tells him she's had a lovely day, invites him to lunch at the Grantham Arms the next day and kisses him. He doesn't pull away, but does kind of just stand frozen until she leaves. And can we consider what a crime against nature it is that that's the most action he's gotten in over a year?

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Downton Abbey




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