Episode Report CardKeckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Dax kisses him until Former Miss America 1984 struts up, calling Dax's name. That's right -- Vanessa Williams is in Star Trek. I think DS9 might have some of the most...interesting stunt casting of any of the series. And man, clearly girlfriend thinks she's still doing the pageant circuit if her silver bathing suit is anything to go on. You know, given that Vanessa Williams is a Risan -- don't you think it would be against their, I don't know, code or something to interrupt lip-locked couples? Nevertheless, she does so, saying, "Dax -- is that you?" She and Dax embrace as Dax says she was wondering if she was still there. Turns out La Williams has been promoted to what sounds like the Julie McCoy of the area. Dax makes with the Worf and La Williams introductions. "She and Curzon spent a lot of time together on his last trip here," Dax explains. "We had a wonderful time together, until I killed him," La Williams says placidly. "Killed him?!" Worf stutters. "Death by jawaharlal," La Williams says, again very placidly. She shrugs, "I suppose there are worse ways to go." Boy -- she's certainly taking killing someone in stride. Must be an occupational hazard. "Trust me -- he died happy," Dax says firmly. Icky -- this can stop now. "He was such a sweet old man," La Williams says. I said, THIS CAN STOP NOW! Worf agrees with me and is pretty short with La Williams until she takes the Klingon-sized hint and scoots her glue-sprayed ass out of there. Keckler: How come Vanessa Williams gets a silvery Risan tattoo-thingy on her forehead and everyone else gets black? Dr. Mathra: 'Cuz she's the Chief Slut. Dax rounds on Worf for being rude, and this starts another spat about his jealousy. "If you were a Klingon woman, we would already be married," Worf booms. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm NOT a Klingon woman," Dax shoots back. Worf tells her that's no excuse and that he's been loyal to her. Dax says she's been loyal as well and wants Worf to trust her and stop being so controlling. She then announces that she's going to go off and have a big glass of icoberry juice. "That is a big mistake. You are allergic to icoberry juice -- it makes your" -- Worf looks Dax up and down -- "spots itch." "But I like the TASTE!" Dax sasses back. Worf is all fine, but you'll regret it, and Dax is all, but it's my regret to deal with. Or something. She then rubs Worf's chest and says, "Now, why don't you go back to our room and put on your bathing suit so we can swim in the lagoon." Oh, please no. Worf agrees.