Episode Report CardKeckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Over drinks in a pink-gauze-flanked room, Bashir can't believe that Worf agrees with Drab Man. Worf says that if the Klingons hadn't thought the Federation vulnerable, they wouldn't have attacked. Bashir protests that Risa doesn't enter into it. Worf doesn't agree. "All I know is, I've spent lifetimes defending the Federation and I deserve a vacation every now and then," Dax says. "You got a vacation from your BODY the last time you visited Risa -- wasn't that enough for you?" Dr. Mathra demands. Leeta twitters her way in and tells Bashir she's so glad they came. "I told you this was just what we needed," Bashir says, nuzzling her. Worf slams his napkin on the table, which is like the quietest thing you can slam on a table. Bashir wonders what's up with Mr. Grumpy Pants. Dax tries to brush it off. "You two DISHONOR each other with your actions," Worf thunders. Leeta wonders what he's on about. Bashir suddenly has a brainwave: "We didn't tell you why we came here! We're conducting the Rite of Separation." "It's an old Bajoran custom," Leeta gabbles excitedly. "When a couple separates, they spend several days celebrating the parting. It's a way to remember all the good times and to seek out new...opportunities." Okay. I don't even know what to say to that, especially since I don't think Bashir is maximizing his "opportunities" if neither Garak nor O'Brien came along to Risa. "A very wise and ancient culture," Bashir smirks. Worf continues to look uncomfortable. Leeta turns to Bashir and tells him she doesn't think she got him completely out of her system yet. Bashir gets what she means, and excuses them. My, but Bashir's head is tiny compared to Leeta's! They leave. Dax looks amused, but Worf insists that breaking up is a serious undertaking and they clearly aren't doing it right if they are so happy about it. What does he want -- pain sticks? "Not every relationship has to end like a Klingon opera," Dax tells him. "Oh, no, no," Worf agrees, "just the ones that are important." There's crashing and banging and screaming -- and not of the sex kind -- coming from the next room. Dax shoves some gauze open and sees the Essentialists brandishing weapons, tearing down curtains, and generally being annoying to the guests. "Stay where you are," a Bolian Essentialist says, training a big gun on them. After more crashing and bashing, Drab Man comes in, raises a hand, and says, "All right, that's enough." Dax takes the opportunity to grab the gun from the Bolian and notes that it isn't even loaded. Drab Man says the fracas was just to prove a point about how the Risans and their visitors can be caught unawares. Yes, we get it -- let's move along home now. Drab Man pontificates some more. When he's done, Dax says she has the authority to arrest him for what he just did. Drab Man says they both know that the Risans won't prosecute: "They don't have the courage for it -- believe me, I wish that they did." Drab Man wants Worf's opinion of their stupid farce. Worf says he doesn't condone it. "Maybe not, but I do think you understand it," Drab Man says, and walks away. Worf says nothing. Dax looks worried.